Introduction to me, I guess

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by howtosavealife, Feb 16, 2016.

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  1. I'm 27, never been diagnosed with depression (purely as I've never sought help for it), but I know I've had a lot of fairly low points in my life. It started when I was about 15, and I used to self harm due to bullying in school. I also had a lot of gender identity issues, identifying as a boy despite being born as a girl. I did it for about 4 years before I started to read self help articles online to help deal with my emotions. I attempted suicide when I was about 16, but was found by a close friend who took me to hospital. My parents confronted me and I convinced them I would get help with the school psychiatrist. I attended a few sessions before leaving school, and havent been to anything like it since.

    The past few years, since my dad died, I've felt familiar feelings coming back to me. Being a bit older and being thrown against the ropes quite a bit in the past, I felt i was handling it a bit better than I used to. I naively thought that self harm was strictly cutting yourself and it was something you only did as a kid/teenager. It's a lesson I've learned the hard way.

    I've not considered suicide recently, but the harm is still there. I'm hoping to overcome it, but its more a stress/pain relief than anything.

    Sorry for the low introduction, but I hope being through the above and still going through it, i can try and help others
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi and to say i am glad you are reaching out for support here I do hope you can talk to your doctor your regular doctor can help your depression and self harm
    You are older now so please know there is help there do not try to fight the depression on your own
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF!

    I'm sorry for what you've been through. *hugs*

    I think you do need a helping hand getting over the selfharm and your depression. You deserve to let yourself be helped!
  4. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Let me ask you a question, if I can?

    You said you were bullied in school, but sorry, I checked your profile and found that you are not 27 years old, but do not dwell on the bullying in school - I was bullied as well, because I kind of shy and did not fit in anywhwere, except with a small group of people (most of them girls who were 1 and 2 years younger than I was in high school). Your school life is over now, so it is best to let those feelings of resentment go, because it was done when you all were still so young and people change (especially bullies) over the years once they leave school, so I do not think you keep thinking on that; it is just an adolescence thing.
    Cutting might feel good, because it makes you feel physical pain instead of emotion pain, but you really have to careful if you cut yourself, because even if you only mean to do something shallow, there is a big danger that you could cut too deep and hit an artery by mistake or cause you to have nerve damage the rest of your life (take it from me, I ruined one of my nerves in my left shoulder some years ago and suffer constant pain day and night which I can only get relief from by resting it on a pillow whenever I sit down and cannot even hold 1 kilogram in my left arm because of it).
    The more you fight against cutting yourself, the more will one day come to realise that you no longer need to that; you just need to have self confidence and a determination to hold on to that you however you are feeling, cutting is not the best way to deal with it, when you can find another outlet, such as walking, swimming, writing a poem or story or try your hand at photography, painting, drawing (whichever interests you most) or something around the home to keep your mind occupied (and as a bonus will give you a sense of satisfaction at doing something you worked on with your hands instead of turning to self-destruction.

    You are among friends here - you are now part of our SF family, actually, because while the SF homepage says "Community Support", every one of us, from members to moderators and administrators have gone through their own pain (and continually do so), We all help each other out all hours of the day and night (no matter where where in the World you live). There is someone on-line that you can talk and confide in and you will never be judged or discriminated against, because she care for each other a lot , like a normal family - hence why everyone here are not just regular members or staff or administrators, but FAMILY to one another and we care about each other just as much as regular family relationships do. So you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for in your introduction post.

    After word - come on in the chat (the little green button on the bottom of the screen) and say hello to everyone there! We are funny, joke around with each other and you are most welcome to join us. Just jump right into a conversation on the chat, do not be shy. :)
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum, I am sorry for what you are going through, I was bullied a lot too, just know you can overcome this, do you still have the gender identity issues? I think you should seek professional help. To live doesn't mean your alive, you have to find meaning and ways to get through all of this distress. I hope you begin to feel better soon and I hope it helped to write all about it here. I think you have made a great start by posting here and sharing your thoughts and feelings, bullies are cowards you are worth a million if what they will ever be.
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