im blacksheep.im 20.i live with my mom.i have no job.i have no money.i have a cat named baxter.baxter is probably the only think keeping me alive right now. and just the thought of baxter losing another friend brings tears to my eyes. i once had a cat named forrest. he was the cutest little thing i ever seen. he was all black and meowed all the time. we got him about a year after we got baxter. baxter never meows. well we got baxter fixed and he was fine afterwards. he didnt get sick, he didnt get depressed, he just walked really slow for about a week and hid under my bed whenever my mom came home. forrest got fixed too. he got sick afterwards. turns out he had aids. and his cut got infected. if you had ever wondered what nicole richie would have looked like in cat form, that was forrest after about 2 weeks. he didnt eat. he didnt drink. he hardly moved. and he stopped meowing. i miss him. so does baxter. i have no job because nobody will hire me. i dropped out of high school. i guess nobody knows what social anxiety disorder means. i have it. nobody knows it. i try to tell my mom thats why nobody will hire me but she doesnt understand what that means. im close to getting kicked out. i cant live with my dad because he thinks im retarded. fucking asshole. he never understands. my friends live in different towns now. close by but different towns. i cant go and visit them because i dont have a car. if they ever get bored doing stuff with people, they come to my house. im the last resort now. and i dont usually entertain them. they come over less and less now. if i was 21 and had a job i would be an alchoholic. im too broke to visit a shrink, so all i have left is some beatdown sight where none of the images work...heh.