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Introduction

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LonerForever

Well-Known Member
#1
Hi,

My name is Steven, I’m 19 and I’m here because I feel I have nowhere else to go.

After a lifetime of bullying and being let down I finally cracked when I was 16. Ever since then my emotions have been bleeding out of me, through tears and blood. I feel worthless all of the time. I despise myself.

At first it was just the depression, nothing else. Then I started bouncing between the extremes. One hour I would be normal, doing homework or something else. Then, as if someone flicked a switch, I would get depressed or hyper. It is really scaring me because it feels like I’m some sort of madman. This usually happens a few times a day to a few times a week. I can’t control anything of what I feel anymore.

I know I need help. Time after time I turn to the blade for answers rather than the doctor. But I can’t get the courage to drag myself out of the gutter to see anyone. Whenever I think about it I just freeze up and want to bleed more. I need to end the pain because every time my mood switches I can feel myself coming closer and closer to a complete meltdown and I can’t take it anymore.

I get told I'm overreacting a lot. I get ignored. I get pushed to the back every time. The more I go through this, the more I remember I have no-one at all.

I’m screaming, with a world where it seems like no-one in the world gives a damn.
 

oval

Well-Known Member
#2
:hiya: welcome to the forums!
alot of peopel here can probably relate to what your going through atm. i hope youll like it here :smile:
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#4
I give a dam and i hope you go and get some help okay.
Talk to your doctor and get on some meds and get some therapy to help heal your sadness pm me anytime okay hugs
 

LonerForever

Well-Known Member
#5
Thank you for your kind welcomes.

I really wish I could see a doctor. My confidence is really bad though. I'm terrified my parents will find out about everything as I still live at home. If I do have to take meds then the likelihood is that my parents will find out. There isn't such a thing as privacy here :(
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#6
If you are 16 doc has to keep everything confidential Meds will help YOur parents should know how you are feeling they should want to help you as i have help my child Don't worry about who knows just worry about getting better
 

LonerForever

Well-Known Member
#7
I'd forgotten about the confidentiality thing :/ I'm scared of telling my parents because I haven't told them anything to do with my life for years and years now. When I was bullied I never told them because I knew it would just make it worse than before so I left it. I'm hoping I can leave it and only tell them when its absolutely necessary i.e. they find something in my room or whatever.
 
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