intrusive thoughts vs. self-harm

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Hope1212, Mar 4, 2014.

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  1. Hope1212

    Hope1212 Member

    I have been having intrusive thoughts of violent sexual acts against myself (more so, afraid of being raped by someone, even though I shouldn't be thinking this way). It's been making me stressed out, but I can't seem to stop thinking this way. In addition to this, I keep thinking of hurting myself. I typically think of ways to hurt myself, but generally only end up burning, as the other methods could be potentially fairly dangerous. I was actually feeling pretty good for about a week or two, so I don't really know why my mindset has suddenly changed. It's very confusing and I am not sure that I can stop myself from self harming tonight. Advice??
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. As for help with the si tonight, the only thing I can think of is to do every grounding exercise you know. Do everything in your power to be in your body. I know that is hard. But it can really help.

    No one deserves to live with these intrusive thoughts you talked about. Often medication can help with this. I am wondering if you are on medication. I am. And many people here are. And if you are, maybe you can have them reassessed. Perhaps a change or addition of something to help block those thoughts. Do you think that might be an idea worth considering?
     
  3. Hope1212

    Hope1212 Member

    Thanks for responding. I am actually going to see a psychiatrist next week to see if medication might help. Besides intrusive thoughts I also have issues related to anxiety, depression, ocd, and possibly add. However, I am extremely apprehensive about going on medication. I have tried meds in the past and they didn't really help. Didn't really like the side effects either. Also, I am afraid of how I will be perceived by psych; I know that it is part of her job, but the panic and self-doubt can be quite overwhelming.
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hope, I can totally understand the fear and apprehentionl As well as the panic and self doubt. Of course you would be feeling that. Glad there is a part of you that does realize this is her job. They are technicians. They dont judge. But I sure do understand how it feeds into all the feelings one has toward themsevles.

    Do you think it might be good to make up a list of the medications you have been on in the past and what your reaction was to them? And also if they helped at all? I think that would be great to have typed out if possible. It might save a lot of time for her to know what types of medications have not worked. Or have caused speciffic reactions. It might help her to better choose one for you, if you know what I mean.

    I know it sounds trite but I will say it anyway. Courage is feeling the fear but doing it anyway. Of course its scary. With the panic and self doubt etc. But you are doing it. And I have a lot of respect for you for doing it anyway !
     
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