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Intrusive thoughts

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Isa, Mar 6, 2018.

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  1. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    How do you deal with them? Like an attack of them. They are there all the time but sometimes they all attack at once and lately I can't breathe cos I keep being reminded that I'm not good enough for my girlfriend, and today she said I was "quite good" to her and I am obsessing about the fact that she's goddamn AMAZING to me and I dont know how to be better or maybe I'm too lazy or selfish, but she deserves better but I dont want to leave her and shes told me not to let these thoughts make me push her away so how do I cope right now?

    What do I do to talk myself down? Or ?

    Like, ?? help?
  2. Milas

    Milas Member

    I know it's agony when they come in and you try to fight them off, reassuring yourself, but when you fight back, it gets worse. Whenever a thought came in, I just went okay. As much as it affected me, I didn't' try to push these thoughts out because they came hurtling back in, even stronger. It's hard but when you start to have these thoughts just say 'whatever' and act like it doesn't bother you. I know it bothers you but pretend like it doesn't. As soon as the thoughts come in, try to distract yourself and don't panic. It's ok, breathe in and out. I also read something in Arabic which is a protection and these thoughts left. SOMETIMES, when I'm emotional or alone they come back up so I think you should try to be with people.

    This is what helped me.

    Key points:
    Brush it off, do NOT fight them
    Distract yourself
    Don't panic
    Breathe- I know it's hard but breathe
    Don't be alone for too long, they will resurface
  3. JuanAnchoa

    JuanAnchoa Always and never are too short to being said fast.

    Hello Isa. First of all, sorry for my bad english, I will do my best for explain myself in order to help you. The first thing I will tell you is to visit a therapist, he will give you to solve your particular problem. I was trhough something similar (I guess, I really can't know) five years ago and my psychologist taught me to "block" thoughts. In my case a mixture of exersice-breathing techniques-and single object focus meditation (I know that it sounds ridiculous but it works for me) plus some visits with the psychotherapist helped a lot. He never diagnosed me with OCD but the frequence of the flash images that came into my mind is lower. The same may not apply to you that's why I strongly suggest you to talk about it with a professional.
  4. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    Two questions you can ask yourself. Is the thought accurate? Is it helpful? In my situation once I acknowledge that these thoughts are not accurate, they have a lot less power over me. If accurate, is it helpful (at this moment)? Likely not. So that empowers me to say, this might be true but I need some thoughts that are helpful right now so I'll get back to you later. Try it and I hope you find some relief
  5. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    I don't find your gf saying that you're "quite good" to her to be bad, it's just not a word choice you would've chosen and you can't knock that.
    I once told my gf that "she's the most beautiful woman in the world to me". It hurt her feelings, I found out later after she was bitter for days. Why? Because she's apparently ugly to everyone else in the world and only looks good "to me". Okaaay, not what I was going for at all there. Sometimes words are just words, friend.
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