Intrusive thoughts

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#1
I have been so up and down today. Well, the last few weeks anyway. But today SI wants to be my friend. I find myself thinking about my end quite a bit. It's unnerving because I really haven't been troubled by those kinds of thoughts for a long long time.
I know it's probably because I'm back in therapy and trying to process some stuff. But c'mon! I am thinking about setting everything up before I go!
I'm exhausted by fighting these feelings. Determined to not be dragged down by them. :eek:
 

Petal

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#3
Hi there

Determined to not be dragged down by them.
Don't let yourself get dragged down by them, therapy can be a strain on the mind and the body as it can make things worse before it gets better, but perhaps you are not quite ready for it yet, I am sorry for how you are feeling, you can beat this, it gets better with a lot of trial and error. Is there anything you can do in the meantime that will take your mind off things a little?
 
#4
Unbelievably my life right now is the calmest it's been in years. Therapy is something I NEED to do.
Presently taking antidepressants, Adderall, thyroid meds.

Rabbit
 
#6
I am definitely in the "worse before it gets better" part of therapy. Sometimes that's what is so crazy. I KNOW there are good things in my life and I have worth and I will make it through this, yet the SI thoughts continue to pop into my head and it spirals for awhile.
Usually I can meditate or something. Go for a walk with the dog. Lately it gets difficult to do even that.

Rabbit
 
#7
Ok. It sounds like therapy is causing some disruption, but is a net positive.

The links in my signature might be worth checking out. There may be something that you'd like to add to your meds and therapy.
Thanks may71. ;) I will check them out soon. Now it's off to bed since I've been up since 5am. Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Rabbit
 

Walker

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#9
Heya, just because you're thinking about it doesn't mean you're going to give in to it. When we self harm our brain literally re-wires itself to think about emotional pain which leads to physical pain and we associate the two. Why are you thinking about it right now? Who knows. But if you have been there and stopped then you know it's a slippery slope to slide down and very tough to climb back out of. Keep fighting! You can do it.
 
#13
I'm so sorry you have been hurting but I'm encouraged you are feeling better. The fact that you are reaching out, seeking professional help and talking here tells me that you have more courage and hope than you may realize. You are a warrior!
 
#14
I'm so sorry you have been hurting but I'm encouraged you are feeling better. The fact that you are reaching out, seeking professional help and talking here tells me that you have more courage and hope than you may realize. You are a warrior!
Still on that roller coaster. After yesterday's driving episode I'm anxious. Doing the best I can at the moment. Forward! (Isn't that a state motto someplace? )
Thanks for saying I have courage. Always felt a bit of a coward inside. Too many self doubts I guess.

Rabbit
 
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