I know that feeling very well, when I'm really struggling (like you are) I just remind myself that those thoughts are based on lies. SH has never worked to any positive result...acting out on the impulses solves nothing (history has proven that) it's just a bunch of thoughts that don't work in real life. SH is a learned behavior that usually starts very early in life-it's a coping mechanism that we learned when we were very young. It's like a tool for distraction...but it serves no function in adult life. I always wait it out-the thoughts always move on eventually. They always come back again, but I don't allow them to lead to action....good luck-LT