Invisible Me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by demuredawn, May 31, 2014.

  1. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    I have come to realize... the only time I am not invisible is if I am helping someone else... otherwise... I am nothing...

    If I talk about my abuse... I get told I'm the one to blame
    If I talk about my pain ... I'm told I need to forget it
    If I talk about suicidal feelings ... I'm told its not really that bad
    If I talk about anything other than those topics... most often I'm looked over

    Why am I so invisible?

    I've also come to realize... I am not missed when I'm gone. Maybe I'm just not wanted... I'm not wanted anywhere else either so its nothing new.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun sorry you are feeling invisible h un I think so many here have that feeling i do I am glad you are posting how you feel so others can see how lonely you are a nd reach out to you

    Hope today you can enjoy the warmer weather and spend time with a friend or j ust go shopping be amongst people ok just say hit to them i find that helps me not to feel so invisible

    sending you hugs ok:hug1:
  3. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    thanks total eclipse..
  4. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    to all of you that may take offense to this thread.. dont.. its prob all in my mind.. my perceptions.. they are likely skewed by certain problems i have within myself.. so i apologize to any of you that may have taken offense
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I doubt anyone would take offense, because you are just venting your feelings, and there is nothing wrong with that. You can talk to me about anything at any time, and I mean that. I know how much just helping people all the time and being ignored in return can drain you...I know from too much personal experience. I'm always here if you do need to talk :)
  6. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    thank you witty.. your words mean more than you know atm *hugs*
  7. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Dawn, I am sorry you are feeling so low. When you stopped posting for a while, I hoped things had gotten better. Obviously they have not. It is so hard to truly understand what someone else is going through. Everyone on this site has been through hell. But each hell is different. Sometimes that makes it easy to offer cheap advise (like just move away from him), or lay the blame where it does not belong. Abusive situations are not something you can just get up and walk away from. Unless you want to wind up living on the streets. And these days you don't just go out and find a job that pays enough to support independent living. Those jobs are rare except for the extremely skilled.

    I have lived alone for over 30 years, and rather enjoy the moments when I feel invisible. But then I don't feel that way 24 hours a day. Everyone should feel needed. For what it is worth, I still think of you when I put lavender scented oil on my pillow. I just did that last night. It doesn't really calm me down, but it does smell good.

    I hope you are able to find a way out of your situation soon. Or, at least, take steps that will ultimately lead you to a happier life.
  8. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    Honestly.. my husband treats me a lot better.. and when I spoke of the abuse.. I was speaking in terms of all of it. Rape. Attempted molestation. Physical and emotional parental abuse. Controlling and abusive relationships. It doesn't matter which of these things I speak of... in the end.. there's generally at least one (usually a lot more) person that says "that was your fault".. and I'm not just talking about here. I've heard it from police. From counselors. From friends. From neighbors... and yes, here too. I don't understand it. Tell me .. explain to me.. how is abuse the victim's fault?

    When I spoke of my pain.. that too I was speaking in general terms... the everyday mundane arguments I get in with friends and family that bring me to tears, the times I get depressed and do not have a tangible reason, the times when I just get totally stressed out cuz everything went wrong that day and just need someone to vent to, or memories of things that haunt me still that happened year back and I need to talk about ... when I'm told "you just need to forget it" .. it just makes it worse.. at least for me, I don't know about others.. and again, that is not just here, but it includes people all through my life.

    When I spoke of suicidal feelings.. I was speaking of everything from just thoughts of suicide to downright starting to plan it out and/or about to act on it... and when I talk about it, and someone says "your problems aren't that bad".. makes me want to just go kill myself right then. Again.. I'm not just talking about this site or the people on it, I am speaking of people in general.

    And when I say "any other topics" .. thats anything from the weather to how happy I am to what my plans are.. etc. Now you may think me completely nuts when I say this.. but ignoring me is the easiest and most significant way of hurting me... so when that happens, it hurts.. and hurts bad.

    Now, its fine to say "aww... but those people mean well, they are just giving bad advice, you should understand that." If you truly believe that, explain to me how those things in those given situations are helpful in anyway, or beneficial in any way or supportive in any way. Has nobody ever heard the saying "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" ? Is that not even more true when you are speaking to a person that is hurting and pouring out their heart to you... ?

    Just food for thought.. and I'm not upset at you She Bear, this wasn't directed at you or anyone in particular.. its just me making sure everyone understands my statements and views.

    By the way, thank you for your kind words and thoughts She Bear..