Hi I recently had an affair, which ended (not by my choice) and has left me feeling some very irrational sadness. I had never had that kind of relationship before, so maybe that's part of it? The other person wasn't even someone I ended up knowing very well at all. And I think I should just be sad because of the loss of the fantasy about him. I don't feel guilty, so that's not the issue. I have a sweet and loving partner in life, and I love him, too. So I'm not alone or unloved, but I feel very isolated and lonely. My ex affair partner was a person who had been with many women before, and he told me this is why it was easy for him to end it and he thought maybe that's why it is harder for me. He did act kindly towards me, but the ending was very abrupt and I feel very isolated and hurt. The weird part is, I don't think he really did anything to wrong me, but I feel pretty terrible about myself for some reason. I was so kind and caring to him, and now it feels like there's a big hole in my life. It doesn't make sense, as I didn't actually see him very often (we probably spend a total of 20 to 30 hours together in the past 9 months). And we emailed only a few, brief things to each other a few times a week or less. So why do I feel like I want to kill myself? I've had much worse things happen to me in my life, experienced other, more meaningful losses, and I've never felt that I might do something to hurt myself. I don't really have any other person I can talk to about this.