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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mortdesinos, Dec 13, 2007.

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  1. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    I'm so irritable. I was just linking thoughts from my past. I was listening to Jimi Hendrix, and I was only appreciating it fully for the first time. I had friends back in middle school who were into that music. So I started thinking about this guy who I hung out with a little bit, but didn't become great friends with. Then, I thought about how someone I knew, I can't remember who, it was like a year or two ago, knew the guy somehow, through high school or college or something, and she thought he was cool. And then I thought about how I've been nearly invisible, should have been friends with the right people. "Should have." Bad words. And I'm twenty. And I fukd up. You can't fk up worse than me. I'm not in college. And I was such a fked up kid. So it makes sense. You worry about everything, then you fk everything up without noticing what you're supposed to notice. That's the best way I can put it right now.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 13, 2007
  2. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    i know what you mean, i was fucked up as a kid, but unlike you i scraped my self into college, and at the mo, i'm failing. because i'm a failure. i always have been and pretty sure i always will be.....
  3. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Failing in school doesn't mean failing in life. Failing in school is a sign that things maybe aren't going right for you. And I was in college. And I'm going to go back. But I don't exactly have credits. My psychiatrist said she thinks I've been depressed, manic, and mixed and that I have borderline personality disorder.. I was diagnosed with both before. And I don't think I'm necessarily bipolar. I'm just fucked up in the head, that's all.
  4. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    School and college are just small aspects of life, they don't matter unless you make them matter by worrying about them.

    Have you tried tracking them down? It's never too late... also, there are lots of people in the world. I met much better friends in college than the ones I had in school. That's not really saying anything about college though, it was just pure luck.
  5. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    Hey you're not fkn up.. you're a hendrix fan for one!
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