Is 42 and 26 too big of a gap when it comes to dating?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Nov 23, 2009.

  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Just wondering.
    I like a guy at work and it's been a WHILE since I've dated but we've been flirting and I like him. But I'm wondering if we're not just at completely different places in our lives?
    I'm pretty typical for someone my age I think (as in I act my age most of the time, younger on the odd occasion but never older!).

    I'm just a little bit worried, I don't want to set myself up for a fall.
     
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    in my opinion age doesn't always matter. all that matters is how you feel about one another.

    Wait work? that volunteer job?
     
  3. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I don't think it's that bad. All that matters is that you like eachother and get along anyway.
     
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    hahaha I know that should be the way of things, but it never is! I remember what happened when I tried to date a 19 year old not so long ago - you can like someone but if you're just not 'on par' it won't work. I dunno, I probably shouldn't be dating anyway. I'm not ready, but I'm spending almost everyday with this guy and I swear my pupils dilate everytime I look at him and he notices hahaha.

    Yeah it's the volunteer job.
     
  5. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Well, the standard rule of creepiness states that it's acceptable if the younger individual is at least half the age of the older individual plus seven years.

    So, in this case, (0.5*42)+7=28

    You're too young by that rule. However, I'm making no judgement on the validity of the rule.
     
  6. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    The only reason I personally consider age to really matter is that you might want different things, so there is the possibility that it may not work out in the long run if you both saw the relationship going in different directions - but you don't really need to be told the obvious XD

    Though.. it may be worth considering whether you're ready for a relationship, emotionally. For some people here, they work out brilliantly and that's fantastic. For others, they find that it's.. quite the opposite. Of course, that isn't a judgement on whether or not you are ready. We've never really spoken so I have absolutely no idea how you feel about this. I just thought it may be something you should consider if you haven't already. Now, I'm not only getting a little off topic but I'm also rambling, haha.

    Best of luck, whatever you decide.
    :hugtackles:
     
  7. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Thanks Lela and Steffen - I think. :laugh:
     
  8. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    Sorry. I never claimed to be helpful :tongue:
     
  9. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    No no you were very helpful hun. I meant Steffen and his law of creepiness lol!
     
  10. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    Think of it less as a law and more of a.. guideline? Less guilt if you break it, that way XD
     
  11. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    I LOVEEEEE older guys!!! Go for it Patsy!!!
     
  12. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I don't think that's too big of an age difference. What matters IMO is the maturity, mental and physical attraction and common interests of the individuals
     
  13. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    And who exactly made that rule? Ridiculous, and I've never heard of it anyway.

    There's only one rule to follow if you want to find happiness in the dating world.- HAVE NO RULES!!

    Seriously, I wonder how many people who could have been happy together have been kept apart because of some silly rule that had nothing to do with the reality of two people caring for each other.
     
  14. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I think it CAN work, because age isn't always that important. But it can be a problem if you guys are at two different places in your lives. My advice would be to spend as much time as you can getting to know him, and talk to him to find out how he feels. Find out what you both want in life as soon as you can.
     
  15. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    As long as it aint illegal, age doesn't matter.
     
  16. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Interesting thread, interesting comments. Would you say the same if the age difference was the other way (42 year old woman, 26 year old man)? Serious question.
     
  17. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Now that's a very good point!
     
  18. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Oh... and just wanted to say thanks everybody for your advice and comments. :)
    I've decided to just go for it - nothing to lose, everything to gain!
     
  19. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I think it can work. My brother is 41 and his girlfriend is 20 and I think they are doing good.
     
  20. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Switching gender roles, the rule states the same thing, but cougars are win. XD