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Is a failed attempt really a failure?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Ozibuna, Jul 21, 2009.

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  1. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    So you've just been through your first suicide attempt. You couldn't do it. You tell yourself you're a coward, you chickened out, you're a failure....or are you.

    Life is something precious, and whether you believe in God or not, there always is a higher power present. I sometimes like to believe it is our ancestors doing whatever they can to make sure the lineage, or legacy if you prefer, is being kept alive. A stage that i believe we all would eventually get to. How they do it, be it through prayers or divine intervention or..or maybe just something else, it does not matter. What matters, however, is the fact that somebody really doesn't want you dead, more importantly want's you alive more then ever.

    It is a well known fact, that if you try something hard and long enough, you will eventually manage to do it, but why should you continue trying when clearly that is not your path, it is not your time to leave this world.

    Ask yourself this, why would someone want you alive? Can't find anything? Ask again. Not satisfied with the answers? That doesn't mean that there aren't any, it just means you're meant to do something else, something big, something important. It surely has to be something big if it's that important for you to stay alive.

    So why not succumb and follow this path. Why not follow this strange way to something new? It is after all a new beginning, take advantage of it!

    I am very very tired right now and i will continue next time, if anybody requests it. I really hope you guys understand what i mean. If not, feel free to pm me or mail me and i'll gladly ask.
  2. 13angels

    13angels Active Member

    I think that's a very interesting way to look at it.
    I would say when you're on the brink and you choose to live rather than die - that counts as a victory.
    It's also the braver choice in some cases too, not a failure at all.
  3. QuadLazer

    QuadLazer Well-Known Member

    My answer is yes, honestly. If you try to do something and you screw it up, "failed" is a completely appropriate word to use.
  4. the fleet asleep

    the fleet asleep Well-Known Member

    OP is mostly right. cheesy, but right.

    if youre looking for a more literal answer, id say that attempting is already the largest failure youll ever encounter. its such a massive failure that it causes you to die. personal perception aside, living through an attempt isnt a failure, its a failure averted.

    its not a failed attempt, its an attempt at failure.
  5. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    I hope you got all i wanted to say, i was very very sleepy at the end of it. I have to admit i did like the 1st and 3rd poster's views and thoughts. Quite intriguing!

    I too was a suicidee well, failed attempted, no no wait, i attempted at failure a couple of times before, but i haven't realized what i written in the start till in my later years.

    I believe there is a God but i believe that there are a few steps in life each and every one must take. Steps that influence us and those around us before and even after death.

    In the beginning, you're just a child. You're protected and cared for more then anything else on the planet. Frail and fragile, you're showered in love and helped grow till you're old enough to start learning and getting to know the world around you, but still cared for and prized more then anything else in the world. ( on the side, a quote i believe and like: "nothing brightens an old man or woman's heart when old age strikes them like a child's laughter" )

    Years later, you're older and can fend for yourself, you're still helped and given a helping hand now and then by family, friends and sometimes even strangers ( help does come from the weirdest of places sometimes, all you have to do is ask for it ). It is here that you find the spirit of the fighter inside of you (be it a learner, guardian or warrior). It is now when you start doing something for yourself, when you choose a path, when you want to do your part and start taking small tasks and goals. Now is also the moment when you realize that there has always been something or someone else watching over you, you just can't see or understand it. And you keep going forward, guns blazing, careful or observing from a safe distance.

    A few more years pass. You find out what love is. You begin to understand how certain things work, you enjoy some of life's beauties. You find the comfort and warmth of another soul. You start thinking for yourself and those you love. You start longing for a legacy of your own and eventually start a family.
    It is then that you realize you have found the greatest treasure in the whole universe, life. Holding your son or daughter in your hand you pledge to yourself to do the best you can and you know deep inside you, that should the situation arrive you will give your life to protect the one you created, the one you treasure most of all. ( quote: "children are the future, they are more important then anything else )
    Now and then you still need a helping hand, help that you will help, help that you have learned to ask for. Help that you'll ask only at the utmost urgency, because you learn to let go of your pride, your family is more important then you. If you're a man, your job is to fight till your last breath, it's something that's been physically given from the start of all. If you're a mother, your job is to protect and guide, to love, to cherish, to give your life for the ones you love, it's in your gene. Don't deny it, whether you're a man or a woman, embrace it!
    You experience dreadful loss and learn of death. You notice how short your life is. You notice how your children grow and slowly turn from small ones to young men and women at the beginning of the journey. ( quote: "worry not of past mistakes and do your best to make yourself a better man, what's done is done, what's to become is your choice entirely!" )

    Years pass and you grow older, you feel life is slipping out of your hands and start searching for something else, for that special presence you've felt over the years. You've already build your legacy, now you make sure it's going to live on long after you're dead. This is when you prove from time to time that you still live, that there is some life left, when you don't even stop to blink, when harm is in your family's way, and just throw yourself head on at any dangers ahead. You enjoy the later beauties of life. You grow wise and experienced, you appreciate every moment left. Suddenly you feel younger, the pitter patter of a baby's feet on the floor fills you up with an energy you've long lost. You feel alive again. Finally, you know what's going to come and start setting your affairs in order and make sure everything is set for your departure. ( quote: "every man dies, it's how he lives and dies that make him a great man" )

    You die. From this all i can say is what i've felt. From time to time, i have felt something. I've had quite some luck in my life, some in places i never would have expected. And each and every time it helped me put me on the right track, and every time i turned to a wrong and dismissive path i hit the hard wall of misfortune. I believe that the helping hand came from my ancestors, that even after death, there is a strong family bond that nothing and no one can disturb or destroy. It just is, and when you most need it, you will get it. I can't explain it any other way, it's just what i've learned to understand, because life is most precious thing in this world. ( quote: " he is my child, no matter what he's done, he will still be my son and i can never stop loving him " ) I guess it can be a sort of parental instinct gone up to a higher level.

    First of all i want to thank you reader for taking time in reading my thoughts and opinions, i know it's pretty long so thus i thank you again.
    Some of you will surely disagree to what i've said, some will actually call me crazy. This is what i believe, this is what i've felt and observed through my whole life, and i have mostly observed all my 22 years in this life. So don't judge me, as i don't judge you. Should you have an opinion or something to say, i will gladly accept it. Better yet, i want as many as i can get.
    2nd of all, i know that i left all the bad parts out, but in the long run you focus on the good, not the bad. When in extreme danger you focus on the good not the bad. ( quote: "life isn't meant to be easy, my child, but take courage, it can be delightful" )
    3rd of all, i also believe 2 more things. The first is that this is how life should go, it's a way of life that follow certain traits, that makes you a good honest man or woman. That teaches you the meaning of right and wrong, that shows you that the hard path to enlightenment is worth every bit of it. That teaches you what joy it is to have a clear conscience. That teaches you the meaning of family, zeal, sacrifice, love, unity and unbreakable human bonds.
    The latter is that, everything has to start somewhere. If you haven't experienced it yet, it doesn't mean that your fate is sealed. You can still enjoy certain things. It just takes allot of effort and help. And i kid you not, help you will get if you're willing to become an honest man or woman. There are others out there that will notice you, be sure of that.

    If i forgot something (which is highly possible) i will mention it in the next post (if needed) and i thank you again ( i know i know, but hey, 3rd time's a charm! ;) :D ) for reading this, and do hope that you have something to say.
  6. Lone_walker

    Lone_walker Well-Known Member

    I guess the question can't really be answered. Because i guess a failed attempt can be seen in the person's eyes as a failure to them, but maybe not to others...so i guess you can only really answer if you define the person...thats my thoughts anyway.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    kinda intresting indeed.
    the first time i failed i had nothing to loose, i was in 7th grade and didnt know the ins and outs of suicide.
    i guess the idea of not completing what i set out to do does have some amount of concern. the 3rd time i got alot closer. again i didnt get to where i wanted to be. IF and i say IF it should happen again, i think i am alittle better prepared to do it right.
    but then again ... if i really wanted to do it right, i know there are sure fire ways to do it. why wouldnt i enertain such ideas ?

    at this point, i dont know if im a failure or not. i know it didnt work but then, i knew it wouldnt because there werent enough pills in the first place.
    does the thought of failure make it harder for us to make the trip again ?
  8. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    Here is what i don't understand. Suicides find life very hard, and they fail at it, or so they think, so they resort to resigning, throwing in the towel, calling it quits, etc etc etc

    If you don't manage to commit suicide, why not call it quits
    and abandon that idea
  9. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Interesting point of view, but I disagree.
    The ‘voice in your head’ that tells you not to do it when you are about to do it is you’re basic instincts kicking in, or I suppose you could call it your conscience. Either way, every animal tries to avoid death.
    You corner an animal it will do unpredictable things to try and avoid death.
    Same with us, the only difference is the one who has cornered us, is ourselves (and the chemicals conflicting within us)

    I also disagree with the ‘meant to do something else’, because that approaches the idea of fate, which I have a strong distaste towards.
    If everything happened for a reason, why is it that we have all been cursed with this mental disease? I see little to no productivity in us all wanting to die.
    There are other examples like people getting raped, tortured, etc… but no need to elaborate.

    Or, maybe I’m just too cynical and pessimistic
  10. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    Fate, maybe, maybe not. I prefer ancestral protection and strong human bonds. I think it's just like information. Nothing is useless, for anything you can find a use. This by itself is miraculous, proves that the universe simple connects everything to anything and vice versa. Just like energy, which is never lost, so goes with everything else. Which makes me think of this incredible balance of power and the hard hard fight to keep it all in control. Makes utopia even harder to attain. I have a strong feeling that the worst isn't behind us. That something big will happen that will make us change our ways. I believe it's time for a change, and i will most certainly do anything in my power to provoke that change.

    But who knows, maybe they're all trials. Trials from which we must pick whether to fight or do nothing. But what you call fate, can easily be called the butterfly effect. Maybe the man or woman who committed suicide had the power inside them to make a difference in this world, either to good or bad.

    Nobody actually thinks of how the great people of this world actually were. We only see and teach of the good things they did, which how things should be. But in some cases we should point out the humanity inside of them: the mistakes they made, the dreadful things they did, the bad choices and terrible deeds. No human is perfect, none what so ever. In order to learn of good you must learn of evil. So mistakes actually make you stronger. It's only a matter of perspective

    We all enjoy a good read, or a good story. Especially those were certain moral values are pointed out: courage, honor, brotherhood, loyalty, zeal, sacrifice, love, faith, family, respect, and so on and so forth. These are values we all could live by, and yet for some reason most of us, find it impossible to reach. Some thing that people who did these were great people, good people, people worth remembering, but here's the interesting part: they became great people, good people, their actions made them worth remembering. And more importantly, they were human in every aspect. Not one great man since the death of Christ was truly clean and untouched by bad things and thoughts.

    So why should someone think any less of themselves and deny themselves their birthright, greatness. Sure, there are people who are destined for greatness, but they can't do it alone! They need you, the ones who help make things happen. The ones who are willing to stand tall by his side and fight for a just and worthy cause. Who are willing to risk their sanity and state of health fighting for what's right.

    We can change! We will, we have to! Ever wondered why evil always wins in movies? At least in the beginnings? Easy! There are the exact same players on the table as on the good side: one destined for greatness and the rest who help make things happen, the rest, who by the way, share some amazing traits with the good ones. Traits like loyalty, sacrifice, brotherhood, zeal, respect. Granted they're at another level, but they are willing to fight, and so they do. Why can't the rest of us do the same. Pick a side, hopefully the right one, and do the same.

    I guess what i'm trying to say is. The past is the past. The present is now and the future you can make great.
  11. Hitomi

    Hitomi Well-Known Member

    the way i look at it is, if you are unable to accomplish something it is a failure.....BUT not all failures are a bad thing. plus I believe that we learn best from our mistakes. So in a way failure can be a positive thing as it makes you learn and evolve as a human being.
  12. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    You remind me of something i heard: "sometimes you have to loose in order to win"
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are so right. In any experiance we learn. we grow and hopefully get skills and knowledge so we can understand where we are at and how to cope with things more positively.
  14. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I view 'failure' as actually having gone through with the attempt but then surviving, either by a bungled attempt or rescued.

    If your intentions are to commit suicide and not actually go though with it, I don't believe this is considered an attempt.

    Furthermore, if you don't go though with it, you most certainly are not a coward, to take your life is probably the biggest decision you could ever make so if you are not truly sure, you have just exercised your judgement.
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