For me, love is impossible. Without love I am desolate and would rather be dead. Love is the only thing I ever wanted, the only thing I needed was someone in my arms. No wife, no kids, 30 years old, I'm too opinionated, I hate people, everything is pointless, nothing is enjoyable, always irritable, deteriorating, getting older, money problems, losing friends, losing attractiveness, everything is downhill from here. The love of my life ended it with me in 2003 and I have never gotten over her and never will find a replacement. She is not the reason why I want to kill myself. The reason why is life sucks, the world is an awful, terrible, despicable, garbage dump, stupid waste of space shady ****ing people that I despise. This world is such a very cruel place and I want no ****ing part in it. Why the **** shouldn't I kill myself? No religious reasons either. I'm athiest, and even if a god existed I would rather go to hell. Also, this isn't an impulse decision either since I've wanted to commit suicide for over 15 years now and have severe clinical depression and have tried meds, counseling, etc. The problem is those things don't cure heartache and loneliness. My family would understand, and I'm sure a few of them know I want to. Of course I would leave a note. One day, when I finally say "enough", it's gonna happen. I have always believed that my end would be by suicide.