This is the first time I am posting on this website and I do really appreciate your advice. I will try to keep it short so people read it, here it goes ... I am 22 years old,have been battling major depression for about two years, have been very suicidal at times and I am very suicidal right now. My problem is not that I feel lonely, I don't, I have close friends, I am relatively popular and sociable person. I didn't have any traumatic experience in my life, no abusive parents, no death in the family nothing. I actually have a very loving and caring family, I could not ask for a better one. So what is my problem ? Well the main one I think is that I am a fraud. Yep I said it, the first time in my life I am actually admitting. I have always been looked up to, my friends and family have always thought very highly of me, mostly because I was always the only kid around who did well in school, and in general. I have always been in a bit of existential crisis (not that such a thing even exists). I got into a top-tier university did well my first and second year but then I got depressed, lost motivation, my grades dropped. But nobody knows this. Everyone thinks I am going to graduate with top grades and get into the best graduate school. But I know I will not. I have never really wanted to, all I have always wanted was approval and praise of other people (it made me feel superior, powerful) Everything about me is a facade, a mask that is about to slip and I hate that fact. I am no longer depressed because of some deep reason about life like I was (I thought I was) I am depressed because I am a failure but nobody knows. Also, I don't have anything else to live for, all I ever cared about was that feeling of power, superiority, that I am better than someone else without that I feel like I don't have anything. What would you do?