Is anyone out there?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rukia, Nov 20, 2010.

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  1. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling really suicidal and I'm close to acting on the urges. I have something in front of me that probably won't do the trick, but it's more than I have done before and I want to try it.

    I need help. Don't know what would help, but if someone can try? :cry:
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Hey Rukia,

    do you think you can get yourself to the hospital or call up a help line?

    Sometimes it's better to hear a real voice, make us feel connected again.

    Please put away whatever it is that you have in front of you. Don't 'try it'.
  3. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    i sent you a pm! i hope your coming back online soon. im here if you need to talk
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hope you're OK...?
  5. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I don't want to go to hospital. A friend just called and calmed me down a bit.
    I'm just so sick of feeling like this.
  6. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I'm glad your friend helped a bit :hug:

    Are you receiving any treatment?
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I;m so glad your friend was there for you....
    keep reaching out....and please go talk to your doctor asap
  8. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Hello Hanne!

    I don't think I've seen you post here before, but you have a lot of posts so you have probably been here for a while.

    Maybe you could talk about what you have tried, what has worked and what hasn't

    Or maybe you would rather talk about what is making you feel suicidal in the first place

    Your in Norway I see. Do you feel more suicidal during the winter? The darkness and seasonal change make a lot of people feel more suicidal.
  9. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I'm on meds, but I don't really think they are working too good. Got an appointment with my doc on monday.

    My brother called me and asked if I could pick him up, and while doing that I realized that I'm needed. So I'm going to give life one more chance.
    I have tried meds and therapy in the past and almost got rid of my depression, but the suicidal thoughts was still there.
    Summer is as bad as winter. Or maybe not. :unsure: My dream way to die has to do with winter so maybe it does make me feel worse.
  10. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Have you ever had your vitamin d levels checked?
  11. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    thats a good point. ive heard that theres a treatment for low vitamin d levels for people living in the region though. im not sure what excatly
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Don't do it Hanne. Hang in there hun. :hug:
  13. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I had my doc check everything that could be too low a few months ago, so I think they're fine.
  14. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member


    Is there a reason why you feel this way? Whats missing?
  15. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    No, not really. The only thing is that I'm depressed and hear voices. But I've wanted to die for many years now.
  16. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member

    Well that is something i would say... And kinnda intressting to

    Guess that the doctor har given you some sort of diagnos?`

    Are the voices connected to the depression, or is there another cause to the way you feel, i can understand that the voice drives people crazy, hard to turn them of.

    fun fact is that 2/3 of people hearing voices actually are happy with it, they say that the voice is kind to them... So can you say what your voices want you to do? Is it the same voice as yours or does it feel like "someone else"?

    Hows winter btw i norway :)


  17. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    My last doc said that I'm psychotic, but my new one say I'm not, so I don't know. I've been depressed without hearing voices and hearing voices without being depressed, so i don't think they are connected.

    The voices often tell me to end my life or hurt myself, or say bad things about me or the people I care about. It's not my voice, they are many voices of people I don't know.

    There is a bit snow here and cold. How is the winter there?
  18. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member


    So they the doc have a hard time figuring out whats going on inside you?

    I would but my unprofessional guess that you have some kinnda skitzo, but since there isnt any doc to back that up...

    Thats really fuckedup to hear these voices... are they always mean? Are you scared? Do you follow the voice? I mean are you doing what they tell you to do? Do they call you by your name?

    Have you tried to reason with them? Because there is some things that you could do to confront them... But its freaky for some and require some balls, well its not like that crap film paranormal activity, still it can cause some stress, I know some who managed to get these things under control..

    Where does the most pain/suffering come from, do you know?

    Sorry bout all the questions... hope youre feeling fine or a little better atleast :)

    Winter sux bigtime here... i got stuck with my car on the parkinglot, so i had a reason to go back to bed again atleast hehe

  19. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    this must be really terrifying! it sounds really unfair that this is happening to you. I hope that things get better.

    If the voices won't go away, I hope they start saying nicer things to you!
  20. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    They are always mean. I had a friendly voice last time they were strong, but I haven't heard it this time. I get really scared sometimes, but most of the time they are just annoying. The meds I'm on for them helps, keeps them much quieter, but still they can get really strong and I do what they want.

    I have no idea why I feel like this, all I know is that I've been feeling suicidal for a very long time now.

    There is not much snow here, 3 cm maybe, but there is ice everywhere. Luckily my winter tires are new so driving haven't been a problem so far. :)

    Thank you.
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