Is anyone out there...

Trying to work through these feelings and thoughts. It is not working. I want to do something stupid, like go get wasted. That will force my husband to throw me out of the house. I want to kill myself. I really think I am beyond the point of "crying for help". WTF? I am dealing with myself well at all today.

 

Rai,

I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. Life sure is a tough journey.

Things do and will get better, it just takes time, and though it may seem hopeless now, if you keep holding on you'll see that life, in the end, is good.

Please know my PM is open if you ever need to talk. <3

Take care.

 

Hi

Sorry you're struggling so much.. has someone said to you that you're "crying for help?". I hate when people said that to me, felt like it kind of undermined how i felt.

Does your husband know how you're feeling at the moment? Are you able to talk to him or anyone else at all? I really hear today is a very difficult day for you and the urge to get wasted is strong.. please keep 'talking' here if it helps and do try to keep safe.

Jenny x
PS sorry for all the questions!

 

I cannot talk to my husband at all. Everything is a secret from him. In 10 years together, I have never been able to open up to him.

I feel like I am going at this alone. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I literally am "hopeless" right now. I have thought of suicide before. Never attempted, cause when I do it - I am going to do it and get it right the 1st time! I feel stronger today about killing myself than ever before...

 

Sorry to hear you cannot be open to your husband - which is a shame because that is the ideal person (or should be) to talk to.

Do you still feel for him? Or has that love died?

Have you family you can stay with? That could be a few days to clear your head - and you need time on your own to think.

Counselling would help also - but do add anything that you might think is relavant.

At least you have let this out!

That is a start - in fact, it is the only way to get out of this mess!

Regards.

Hope you feel a bit better.

 

The love is very much there. i love him now more than ever. i just have never ever been able to open up and be honest with him.
leaving is not an option, unless it is for good. we have 2 kids. ages 3 & 6.