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Is economic suicide becoming more common?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BWW, Jan 28, 2012.

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  1. BWW

    BWW Member

    Not terribly depressed, not angry, not a substance abuser, over 50 but, suicide certainly seems like the best option. Will not lean on family, do not want to become to old to be independent. Have lost loved ones but, not terribly grieving, looking forward to joining them. Do not have back up finances to sustain old age. Have had a decent life and am ready to get it over with! Doesn't feel like a crisis.

    These feelings seem somewhat unique to this forum, maybe I am in the wrong place?
  2. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    correct me if im wrong but it sounds like your feeling numb. how come you dont want to lean on your family? thats what they are for. You could take up a new hobby maybe it will distract you from what you're going through right now.
  3. BWW

    BWW Member

    Thanks for the reply -

    No you aren't incorrect, numb would be a good description. I have had several hobbies, they go no where, and even become un-enjoyably. And my family isn't made of money either, I am not going to be a burden there.

    Seems like we are all going at one time or another, so picking a good time doesn't seem really a bad idea.
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Just remember the hurt and devastation it will bring to your family if you take your life. I have not lost anyone to suicide, but know people who have and it seems somewhat more tragic than a natural death. You should confide in your family, I know they are not made of money but they can perhaps give you some sound, helpful advice that could benefit your future. Reaching out for help doesn't make you a burden on anyone.
  5. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    I was wondering what you mean by "economic suicide". You can't commit suicide economically. Do you mean you want to kill yourself because you are very poor? Is that the biggest stress driving the feeling of wanting to die?

    I'm 48 and what I've noticed is that it's harder to summon any kind of intense feeling anymore. I used to be very intense and like many young people here could have very intense emotional crises. That just doesn't happen anymore. Even when I'm suicidal, like you said, it doesn't feel like a crisis or anything dramatic. I wonder if I'm numb or just getting old. But my past suicide attempts were always done in a state of complete numbness. I always felt nothing as I made my attempts.

    At least you've had a decent life, which means you have a chance of regaining something worth living for. I've never had a decent life and have lost hope of ever having one.

    Are you in the wrong place? I ask myself that a lot too. Everyone is so dramatic here about wanting to die. They are young. But there are still many commonalities beyond the difference of whether someone is intense or not. And I tend not to envy that they have more time to pull it together because I lived on when I was young, always thinking I might pull it together one day, that I still had time. It just led to decades of suffering really. So I don't assume they have more hope than me just because they are young. Maybe some do, maybe some don't.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry to hear that you feel the way you do. It seems like maybe you are bored with life and could use a change. Like you said, you aren't terribly depressed and you can always change the way your life is going.
  7. mtee

    mtee New Member

    BWW, I've long tried to explain to family and friends that my "depression" is only ever initiated by economic desperation, so how then can it be clinical? When I am in danger of losing my home, I'm depressed. When I don't think I can feed my kids, I'm depressed. When I think my children are going to return from school to find there is no power in the house, I'm depressed. When I lose my job and there is NO money....I'm sOOOO depressed. I'm sick of people treating money like it's not that important. It is so important and when people don't have it, it changes thinking. Every time someone I know minimizes the importance of money, I want to ask them, "if that's the case, why don't you give me yours." I've always been very independent and I've never leaned on anyone. I never really thought I could. So, BWW, I completely relate to what you're saying. I'll be 49 years old in two months. I have two 16-year olds who will be choosing colleges next year and maybe it's because my fragile psyche can only deal with but so much I haven't yet started to worry about sustaining old age, but believe me, I can relate to what you're saying.

    I will say this though, I hope....I really, really hope you hang in there, because maybe there's something you haven't figured out yet, that may offer you that security you need. Although, I have been where you are and in fact that is why I found my way to this site. I think my sons and I are about to lose our home and it scares me so terribly sometimes I'm crippled by it, but I'm doing my best to stay alive each day and I'm working vigorously to find my way to some sort of economic stability.

    I hope you will too.
  8. BWW

    BWW Member

    AlienBeing -

    You get it. You do understand. There just isn't any drama about this for me. I am new here, and have read through many of the posts and topics, all of which I hope do not come to pass. I sincerely wish the best and only the best for everyone here. But it's just not "all that" for me. Something inside says this is not a normal way to feel, yet logic tells me it's a brilliant idea!

    I really would like to get past it but, I don't see how that is going to happen. It isn't like I'm 25 and opportunities abound for me. I am at the end of the trail anyway! I'm 54. I see very elderly people out and about, and I think to myself " I'd like to ask them, what they are getting out of this, at this point?" Your quality of life (from my view point) is horrible! Why do you feel the need or desire to drag it out? Of course I would NEVER ask someone that.

    I have two kids 36 & 32 and 4 Grandchildren (all live in other States) don't get to see them hardly ever. I don't have the money to fly them around, nor do they have money for airfare. My daughter would be upset, and I don't want to do that to her but, at some point she will have to understand, I just can't be put out on a curb and sit there and wait out the rest of my natural life, just so she can say, her Mother is alive, or did not commit suicide.

    There is no retirement, no 401K, no stocks, none of that stuff, I work week to week just like billions of other people in this world, and even age is starting to take that away from me.

    It seems like an inevitable end for me, I pray to just die in my sleep but, wake up every morning. Leaving me to have to take care of this in the end obviously.
  9. BWW

    BWW Member

    And mtee -
    You get it too! Yes it IS about money! I've never minded working, and working hard. I built my own business and it did well for many years, now it has dwindled down to almost nothing. And that didn't happen when I was 25, it happened when I am 54! Now it is seemingly impossible to get work like I use to. I am still able to do it, I just can't get the work, the economy has tanked it.
    I am not an overly optimistic bottle of bubbles, nor have I ever been a materialistic person, I'm not reaching for the Moon here. I'm not over extended, nor do I have good credit. Not because I abused it but, because I never established it. Most of my life I have never needed credit, so I never did it. Now I have none because of it. I have no health care, or savings or property. It's not going to be an easy road from here on out for sure!
    I can't sustain, living anymore.

    I sure do hope things work out for all of you, if I had an answer, I would sure be glad to send it your way but, I don't. I am here too.
  10. BWW

    BWW Member

    Something though that has become a problem for me, and I can't shake it, it's getting worse, and it bugs me.
    I can't drive by cemetery's, with out looking, and thinking "Wow what a bunch of lucky people"
    Or see things on the news where people died, and I think to myself, "Why wasn't that me? I would have gladly traded places with them" Most especially children. But anyone really.
    And I've had to really start making a conscious effort, to mind what comes out of my mouth around people, because they FREAK if you talk like that. Or immediately think you are unstable.
    And I am not, I am intelligent, educated, and have lived just the same as anyone else, it's just that I know it is the end. And since I am obviously still here, the final decision is going to rest on ME! I see it as a matter of responsibility for myself.
  11. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you really fear what the future is going to be like, aging wiith no money. I guess I do too, but I try not to dwell upon it. I've already got an illness that would be less painful if I could afford the things I need to treat it with. I live on disability for both physical and mental health reasons. I have no hope of that ever changing. At least you still have your health and a business. The economy is bound to improve and business could pick up again. At least you have something to be proud of. Do you have any friends? Maybe you're lonely and need friends to talk to. I don't have any friends either. I have family but I'm uncomfortable and tense around them and it's very likely mutual. Actually, I'm uncomfortable and tense around most people and it's very likely mutual. I have no children or partner either and wonder who will be there for me if I ever become very, very ill--probably nobody. At least you could move closer to your kids if you needed help. But then, a lot of people don't like feeling like a burden either I suppose. I used to have a lot more in my life--a job, a home I owned, a car, a few friends, a boyfriend, hobbies and trips, yet I wasn't really much happier than I am now having nothing and none of those. I'm just incapable of happiness. I think about 12 years ago I concluded I had neither the courage to live, nor the courage to die, and so would do neither and that's where I've been stuck ever since. Mostly, I've tried to keep the physical pain to a minimum and even that is not going well lately.

    Being Canadian though, at least I have health care. Unfortunately it has it's limitations--a lot of limitations. You can see all the doctors you want and still not get better because they can't help you.

    That's an interesting way of putting it--a matter of responsibility for oneself. I've never thought of it that way before but it's probably true. Maybe that's why I keep hanging around for nothing because I don't take the responsibility to just end it all, already. Well, that and I'm waiting for my Mom to pass away, as she's the only one who would really be hurt by my suicide. I even think a couple of my family members would be relieved I was gone--maybe all of them since I just make everyone uncomfortable anyway. Sure at first it would be a bit of a shock, but it would be better for all concerned eventually.
  12. thingsaregonnachange

    thingsaregonnachange Well-Known Member

    I do think that economic factors are contributing more these days. In virtually all posts I see some form of economic difficulty.

    In my case, it's certainly one of the major ones. I'm 27, graduated college 5 years ago, got a few extremely low-paid jobs and I've been unemployed for over 2 years now.
  13. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    As far as people freaking--80 percent of people still think suicide is morally wrong:

    http://www.gallup.com/poll/147842/D...ion&utm>> _content=morelink&utm_term=Politics

    And also the vast majority of people are happy and never think of suicide, so they simply can't understand, hence the above result, I figure. Being unhappy and suicidal is really very uncommon. We are a tiny minority of the population. One theory is that nature naturally screens out the unhappy and suicidal as they are much less likely to mate and reproduce. I can see that as being true.
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