Is eternal depression better than suicide?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nicesinging1, Oct 19, 2010.

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  1. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    Hello, everyone. I recently had a dialogue with a friend who offered me insights on my struggle through depression. However, I am having hard time concurring on one of the points he made during conversation.
    He said, "Suicide is never justified. Yes, living a lifetime of sufferings, tortures, miseries, depression and torments is still better than suicide."
    I found that irrational and just easier to say than done. I know suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But who would want to live a 50, 60 years of life that is mostly sufferings, depression, miseries and hardly any happiness and joys? Who would want to live a life of such low quality?
    Can anyone share your insights on my friend's advice?

    Thanks in advance for any insights.

  2. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    Your friend has possibly not lived with the torments that life brings.

    Some can bare these feelings some cannot.

    For your friend to come to the conclusion that all who shall live in torment should keep pushing on, to me seems ignorant and self centered.
  3. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    As a person who has lived about 50 years of depression, I have a very mixed reaction to this. On one side the frustrations of daily life would make me say no. On the other side the pain it would cause my family and missing out on some of the good things would make me say the life struggle has been worth it. As always, I am balanced between giving up and keeping that small hope alive.
  4. This is exactly my question too. I think it's almost cruel of my family to expect me to live the rest of my life like this. It's the *only* thing keeping me from doing it (besides not having a gun)
  5. Jandy

    Jandy New Member

    I understand your side of the discussion. His simple "just deal with it, that's life" kind of attitude is a bit naive to say the least. I'm sure he's never trully had the feelings other's have had, and if he has..more than likely he's been taught to never think about 'those horrible thoughts'.

    I ask myself that question all the time: Why go through life with miseries of the everyday, the upsetting occurances, and people who don't understand? Sometimes the out seems like the only logical choice to me.
  6. sinnssykdom

    sinnssykdom Banned Member

    The short answer to this question(imo) is no. Long answer, well it really depends on circumstances but basically what GA_lost said.
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    The tragedy isn't suicide, it's the fact that people are so beaten that they come to the point where they commit it.
  8. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I completely agree.

    Hank, I too find your friend's comment irrational, but I do understand that it must be hard for people who have never suffered depression to understand that suicide could actually be preferable. I recently had a conversation with a friend whose grandmother had terminal cancer. She said that she thinks euthanasia should be legalised for people with terminal illnesses, but that suicide is always selfish. She admits she's never had depression, so I was trying to explain to her that the emotional pain is as bad as physical pain, so why should euthanasia just be reserved for people with physical illnesses?

    Anyway, my point is that unless we have been somewhere ourselves I don't think we can truly understand the situation, so although I think what your friend said was quite naive and insensitive, it's what he believes with his limited knowledge. I think I would try to just let it go, and remember that sometimes it's just best to agree to disagree.

  9. Staysuplate

    Staysuplate Member

    "Suicide is never justified. Yes, living a lifetime of sufferings, tortures, miseries, depression and torments is still better than suicide."

    I disagree with your friend, but it sounds like something I would tell one of my friends, if they were suicidal as well and hope for the best, if circumstances couldn't allow me to do much more. Then again, I almost literally believe anything can be justified depending on the circumstances.

    Back to disagreeing with the top statement. I view this as being determined by how well one knows ones self and how well that they can predict their own future. An actual lifetime of suffering, depression and torment I definitely see as a worse thing than death, but then if I think about the person/people I have cared for most in my life, I couldn't accept their wishing for death based on that being a better more kind alternative. Then I realize thats cruel of me and hypocritical, so my mind gets stuck in a frustrating loop. In the end, I would attack my cared ones presumption that they would live the majority of their years in such emotional suffering, even if I think myself there's little hope for my mindset to change.

    Sorry for rambling. Maybe your friend is also trying the tough love approach and/or doesn't actually believe what he actually told you with total truth.
  10. Enigmatic Ed

    Enigmatic Ed Well-Known Member

    After suicide there is nothing. there is always hope. find the strength to carry on. you will die at some point so look forward to that if you have to in the meantime keep looking for reasons to live, one day you might find one that could benefit others not just you. so easy to get stuck in a rut telling yourself things you dont wana hear, force yourself to say something nice to you (waves eventually ware mountains to sand) beat yourself down with niceties pummel yourself in positive thoughts hopefully one day you will give up and think fuck it fine leave me alone I will just be happy(ish).
  11. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    id have to agree you're friend doesnt suffer from suicidal thoughts or depression or other mental health issues. what he said is like a line that others learn in "how to help the depressed 101." it's a line. that's all. because those that utter it dont understrand nor can they.

    easy to say the words. what exactly do you think your friend would do if in the same position as you? it would be very interesting to hear this person reply to the same thing but if it were an animal otr a pet? "living a lifetime of sufferings, tortures, miseries, depression and torments is still better than suicide." Bet its the typical reply "but that's diferent." how? an animal is suffereing most put that aniaml down.

    why? because they are "dumb beasts"? well arent humans too. we cant seem to find a cure or way to help those that are suffering so much.

    there really isnt an asnwer to your friends comment. suicide is one of the most personal choices a person will ever have to make. regardless if it's right or wrong, it is the option that person finds to fill their needs at that point in time.
  12. LillMy8989

    LillMy8989 Well-Known Member

    That question has been running through years and I can only come up to 1 solution many just can't, why is it "forbidden", what's "forbidden"..? Making yourself to the "better"? If you can't be like normal, can't be social, can't eat, sleep, work, just lies like spaghetti... Then what to do? Be hospitalized cause you're depressed? Wait..! That makes sense as you pay you go crazy, yay for straitjacket ..!:lone:
  13. Marissa

    Marissa Well-Known Member

    Hell no
  14. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Not for me, not by a long shot.
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Hank. You raise a very important question. Is living a lifetime with depression better than committing suicide? I guess it depends on the person and who that person would be leaving behind. I know that living with depression must be very hard, but there must be some good moments as well.

    There are times when I feel down too, but I pick myself up and live to face another day. It's like being a boxer. You might be down for the count, but you're never out. You're a strong fella Hank and a good friend too. I'd send you a PM, but I'm under moderation permenantly. Everyone goes through a rough patch at some point, but you have to keep your emotions from going out of control.
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