Is everything going to be alright?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by trinisty, Mar 8, 2015.

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  1. trinisty

    trinisty Well-Known Member

    Hi, yeah... it's me again, the same guy who feel desperate because a rejected love my a his own best friend.

    I've posted a lot of thread, asking for helps, and asking for advices in here, it's because I don't feel that great lately, I felt so horrible for the past few days.

    I still live in my twisted mind, hoping the impossible, crying, and it seems that I can't escape this hell. Everything is just plain wrong inside my head, every seconds, every mornings, and every nights. I can't concentrate on studying, video producing, and worse... I can't concentrate on holding this life.

    Once again... my mind is begging for evidence. How do I know if everything is going to alright? Does time really heal the scars in my heart? You can share you stories to keep me motivated. I believe that maybe someday I will stand up and I will run like I used to. In my mind, everything is darkness... I don't believe in destiny, faith, love, trust, or hope anymore. Those are just nonsense for me now... those are just a knife... waiting to stab my heart, left me bleeding once again, in pain and sorrow.
  2. Luie

    Luie Well-Known Member

    If you're looking for some motivation, have you ever thought about writing? Your English is slightly off but I actually really like it the way it is. I think people would be really interested in your writing if you set up a blog or something. I'd read it for sure.
  3. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    Time really lessens the pain. There is a book life after loss that goes into it. It told me how my divorce will become less painful after grieving. That in time it will be less painful. It told me what to expect around anniversaries of events. Not only for loss of life but of other events in one's life.

    You sound like you need to grieve for the loss of your relationship. It will be hard but the pain does go away. It's the one day at a time mantra. Write it out in a private journal and in time you will see that things and your focus does change. SF does have member journaling.

    It does get better.
  4. trinisty

    trinisty Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading, replying, and spending your time to answer my thread.

    Maybe I'm not that patient to be normal or be happy, I feel like I want to be happy right now (well who doesn't?). Maybe I don't believe that she will like me back, but I will try my best to get rid of that thought. I will try my best to try again... for once again I will reach her. If I fail, than I don't have much choice... I have to forget everything and start loving someone else (I hope this is possible). I kinda don't want to trust my expectation anymore, because my expectation lead me into this disaster. My psychiatrist said that maybe I still have a chance, but I still don't want to believe that... I don't want to fell down the same hole again. I wanna live, and I wanna grow. I still have a dream to become a psychiatrist, and hopefully I can reach that before I end my own life.
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It's a hard situation to deal with but you can cope with it on a day by day basis. You should respect your friend's wishes and try not to make any contact. It's going to be hard but you will do it. Just keep it to a hello phase so that you can rebuild the trust you had together.

    Your hurting and not nice. You are a kind person who just got hurt. No doubt you cry and cry but remember there is a point in living which is YOU. You parents would miss you but be brave let's together help you get through this tough life ahead of you. You hurting but it will ease over a given period of time. It's not going to happen overnight but it will.

    Remember it's ok to cry as it releases the emotion within. You heart is fragile but also be kind to yourself.

    The best way forward is keep and you keep seeing your councillor. Be safe please as you can see we do care.
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