is God punishing me?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by nonethelessjaclyn, Nov 30, 2010.

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  1. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    i haven't slept in 4 days. i'm tired, but wide awake. i desperately want to sleep, but i just can't. I can't get to sleep on my own. i've been taking sleeping pills for a while now, but i've been out for about a week. it seems that i can only sleep if i'm taking something to make me sleep.
    i'm getting so desperate for sleep i'm contemplating stealing my moms vikoden and ambian. i'll take just about anything to get some sleep.
    it feels like God is punishing me. but what could i have possible done to diserve a punishment like this? i just don't understand this at all. please somebody, help me before i do something i know i'll regret.
  2. dartofabaris

    dartofabaris Well-Known Member

    Have you suffered these episodes of sleep delirium before? These insomniac tendencies take a long time to be 'fixed' but first in practical terms are you suffering any other physical discomfort which might prevent you from sleeping? what are your sleep patters like and do they fluctuate?
    Secondly, something new bothering you in the last few days? or something old has come up with greater intensity? Please dont do anything drastic, talk me through it. :hug:
  3. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    i have had trouble with insomnia before. i was prescribed sleeping pills, and they help quite a bit. but without them i am incapable of sleep.
    usually before i sleep i read for a bit or talk to an old friend. i've been doing that for years.
    i'm not sure about anything in my past, but in my future, yes. i think i may be stressed about my upcoming birthday. a lot of good things are going to happen, but also some bad. i'm not looking forward to it at all.
  4. dartofabaris

    dartofabaris Well-Known Member

    I like your pre-sleeping habit/ritual. A bit of reading, provided it has a soothing effect to ease you into sleep, is always a good thing, i do the same. What stuff you read? As for your upcoming B'day, try focussing on the good memories because the negative ones come gushing in all too naturally. Need to build a mental dam to stop them temporarily. Hopefully in the longer run, they will vapour away. Know that u'll be in good company during this very special occasion. Keep urself surrounded by ur friends on ur B'day and tell yourself you'v got people who really care to understand you better. Few things can allay the distempers of the soul like a trusting and lasting friendship. Keep taking the prescribed amount of pills and none more. Perhaps this episode shall phase away. Im got similar tendencies but i dont take pills..instead iv managed after 3 unssuccessful and agonizing years, to create a physical regiment which tires me enough into sleep around 12 - 1 am...i wake up several times but i manage to drift back into it. Finding peace of mind is going to take some creative measures, but since its helping, dont let go of your current habit.
  5. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Hi Jaclyn, can you tell me what sleeping tablets you were prescribed and who prescribed them? Did they prescribe them just for insomnia or are there other issues?
    Some sleeping tablets can be addictive and you end up unable to sleep unless you take them. I'm hoping that you haven't been prescribed those.
    Don't be worrying about your upcoming birthday. There is absolutely no point in worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. Life is hard enough without doing that.
    When you say some bad things will happen, what do you mean? How bad will they be? We all have to go through difficult times in life, it's part of what makes us who we are. How you handle the bad times is the important thing.
  6. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member

    i support (almost) anything that is necessary to keep one afloat...

    But not to sleep is atleast something the doctors actually can be usefull for.

    sweet dreams

  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    oh, I don't think God is punishing you. I think bad things just happen to people some times.

    So sorry for sounding like a broken record, but acupuncture can help with this.

    The book in my signature is for depression, but if you follow the link there is also a book on treating insomnia.

    I do an acupressure self-massage when I have insomnia that works like a charm.
  8. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    right now i'm reading White by Ted DekKer. i've talked to my boyfriend about me being stressed about my birthday and he said that i have nothing to worry about. he also told me a few tips on helping me sleep. i'm trying them tonight so i hope they work.

    i'm taking some time of sleeping pill that is also used as an antidepressant. i'm not sure what it's called, i can't find the container anywhere.
    one thing that's really bothering me that really shouldn't is that i'm going to be 18, and my boyfriend will be 18 in 4 months. my best friend pointed out that i'm going to be a pedophile and i'll be raping my bf. i feel terrible about that because it's so ridiculous. i really don't know why it's bothering me so much, but i feel like i'm going crazy. it's also when i have to start paying for my phone and car insurance and such for myself. it's really stressing me out because i don't have a job yet, and i'm already having enough trouble with school alone.
  9. dartofabaris

    dartofabaris Well-Known Member

    Regarding the sleeping pill, try re-enquiring the name from the person who prescribed it to you. As for what your best friend said, she probably meant it as a joke, which was in bad taste and ill timed. You'r right that is ridiculous because its a false statement. Your mind is latching on to these worries because you'r already worrying about juggling so much more. Viewing the nature of your problems from a long term perspective, your schooling ought to take priority here. As for your phone and car bills, is there any temporary assistance you can get without too many strings attached?
  10. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    i'll do that. i was mad at my friend for a while, but he is literally my only friend so that didn't last long.
    school is my main priority right now, sadly i had to go home early today because of a headache. i'm glad i came home though because now i feel like i'm going to throw up.
    i'm working on getting a job at a book store, but it's not going very well. i really don't know what to do anymore.
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    You really need to get some sleep. Being awake for 4 days will cause you to hallucinate.
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