Is 'hang on' ok?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by IV2010, Jul 30, 2010.

  1. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I don't want to offend anyone here but I gotta say something about posts that say "hang on" or "hang in there"...
    It seems inaproppriate to use that on a suicide forum.....I know you all mean well but think about it..
    some here have lost someone close to suicide by hanging...
    some on here may have that in mind to end it...

    idk....just doesn't seem right to say that here...
  2. kyle88

    kyle88 Well-Known Member

    lol this actually cracked me up because i've never thought of that...

    but in seriousness i think you make a valid point, someone who is in a crisis might not be in the right mind set and could interpret that way differently than intended...
  3. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I'll tell you what's inappropriate. Colors in a suicide forum! It's outrageous!
    There should only be shades of grey. I have to wear my sunglasses because all these jolly bubble gum candy colors is messing up my retina.
    I've never seen so many colors since that time i watched a Carebears show.
  4. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    That made me laugh for about 20 seconds.

    Oh no I just realized I'm depressed :( darn good while it lasted

    I'd wear mine to,but mine are Amber colored.So really I'd be looking at technically a bright color.
  5. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Try buying this

    But since one side is red, then just use a pirate eye patch.
  6. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I've never thought about it that way to be honest IV. I've never lost anyone to a hanging or anything so that particular method isn't in the forefront of my mind. Guess we just gotta do our best to try and not suggest something :dunno:.
  7. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I hate it when people come on Sf just after eating peanut butter...come on people Im alergic to peanuts!! Please stop eating peanuts and products containing peanuts before you come on SF...thx
  8. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    That whole time all I could think about was Michael Strahan putting those glasses and say"Im going to Disney World baby!" definatly a WTF moment
  9. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    This is the weirdest OOT ever
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    OK so now I am gonna let it all out...
    WTF is all that crap on what to me is a serious thread....
    MY son hanged himself and you all think it's bloody funny...
    I thought this was a support forum....
    sorry I ffn mentioned it....
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2010
  11. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    NO I dont feel its funny at all .... sorry for your loss...

    If I were to say hang in there to someone it wouldnt be out of disrespect to anyone whose lost someone as you have with your son, it would be meant as encouragement to continue to push and not give up. I think its ok to use "hang in there" to be honest. Perhaps if it personal offend/triggers you, you could ask people not to use that term when messaging/chatting with you.
  12. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Ok i'll stay on topic. It's unfortunate that it happened to you. It's terrible obviously. But you're suggesting to ban that expression i assume. That's a bit much. Unless the person said it with intention to hurt then i don't see a problem with it. Many things triggers people. Not everyone will know what will trigger a person. Lets take the name Young suicider for example. It might trigger someone.
    Couples trigger me. It hurts me to see happy couple or people in love. But it would be out of line to ask people not to show affection on this forum.
    So unless it's said with the intention to hurt (in which case just report them) then i suggest you to try not to take offense. I know it's hard, but you can't control what people say.

    You said what's inappropriate. I just wanted to add my 2 cents. It might have been a little out of place, true, but it wasn't intended to make fun of you. You made your point. I'm out of your threads. I don't need this negativity.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2010
  13. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Sorry to hear about your son, IV, but whatchu' want people to do? We can't change the whole lexicon every time someone's uncomfortable. I mean yeah, there are some things said inappropriate and they don't go unnoticed, but casual talk like "just hang in there" no one could possibly know someone will take that as being triggering.

    You know what bothers me? People who are successful, married, pregnant, having nice families, great careers, all of that makes me very sad, angry and bitter down to the painful cavity. But I can't expect people with only good intentions to avoid talking about celebrating their marriage anniversary. It's not done in ill intent. Some shit you just gotta let slide. :dunno:
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry about your son. I never knew.

    Its unfortunate that most phrases in our language are hurtful or trigger someone, somewhere.

    I think its probably a case of looking at the intent with which it is said with. Genuinely phrases like that come from someone who is hearing how bad things are for someone and understands that even though its tough, if they can try to keep fighting, that would be brilliant. People don't say phrases like that to intend to be nasty or encourage suicide or remind someone about pain, they say it to be supportive.

    Personally, what triggers me is when people tell me it will get better, or you never know what will happen in the future. It flips me out. However, people say that with good intent and its not their fault that it upsets me. People who know me know not to say stuff like that, the rest are just trying their best to help in a very difficult and painful situation.

    I agree that maybe asking those who know you not to use it around you might be helpful for you. I will always try my hardest never to say that to you because I definitely understand how painful it is for you.
  15. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I can definitely see how that could trigger you. Hanging is one of my main methods and yeah- that can be the worst thing to hear..especially if you play with words like I do. Or you're obsessing about that method. Or in your case you had a son who killed himself by hanging, and you're grieving.

    It matters to you, and isn't okay with you. That is what is most important.

    With the people whom you trust, are friends- you could try talking to them about your feelings. If they are good friends, I'm sure they'd think a little before they type. "Good intentions" or not, there is such thing as being thoughtful by not throwing around empty words (which can send me downhill so I just leave) for the sake of it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2010
  16. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I'd never thought of it that way, at all.

    I suppose if I were still very sensitive about the 6 people I've known in my life-- whom I was close to; who all hung themselves-- I would think of that when I see "hang in there", but it's not the first thing I think about.
    It's meant as positive reinforcement- and not as a reminder of something else.

    I'm sorry that it's sensitive for you, and that must be really hard.

    There are other things that could be mentioned in a light-hearted thought; that could trigger people.
    I feel triggered whenever someone mentions love. Just the word makes me feel horrible.
  17. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    Its a difficult thing, because phrases which are innocuous to some can so easily hurt others. For myself, the word trigger is actually moderately triggering (not for the reason you'd assume, but i wont go in to that). Its important to be sensitive to things which may hurt others, but also trust that if someone uses a term of phrase which does cause harm, that there is absolutely no intent in it, particularly if it is a commonly used word or expression. In the end with this sort of thing, i would say that it's down to the individual to desensitise themselves to such commonly used language, rather than to everyone else to avoid using it.
  18. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I too have always had this method in mind most of my long life....and came very close 2 weeks ago to carrying it out...

    I understand people don't mean it in a bad way..

    this post was just to alert SF members that sometimes it can be triggering or hurt.....

    more an enlightening thread but didn't know where to put it but in 'let it out'

    While I feel for all of you with your 'triggers' none of the ones mentioned are actually a "method"...."hang" is a method...

    I've had 5 members of my family suicide....4 by this method and one I hope you'll underdstand why I mentioned it....

    I didn't mean to upset anyone by my thread but totally 'lost it' when the thread was made fun of.....

    Sorry if I hurt anyone...
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2010
  19. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I understand.
  20. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey IV, I understand where you are coming from..Especially having that many deaths by the same means.,.I'm always here for you!! Take Care!!