Is hanging on worth it?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by foolnomore, Jun 13, 2011.

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  1. foolnomore

    foolnomore Well-Known Member

    I keep asking myself that question. I have had a lifetime of depression but when it gets bad I try to find a reason to hang on ,this time though I can't. I am old and tired and see nothing ahead but the same monotonous routine day in day out. I have done my best for my family but feel I have nothing left to give ,my best has not been enough and I can't do anymore.
    I really don't think those I live with give a damn ,as long as they are fed they don't care and if I were to go then they would find someone else to do it.
    :sigh:
     
  2. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    If it's the same monotonous routine, then why don't you try a change? Walk backwards down the aisle of a train or bus, order the exact opposite for lunch than what you normally do - in fact, go to a different restaurant entirely, switch your job if you feel it is only dragging you down, instead of taking a walk, go for a swim etc etera.
    You'd be surprised at how much your life can change simply by doing a few things differently.
    You don't think those you live with would care if you were gone? Besides not knowing anything about your family life, one thing I could say is have you sat down and asked them about it? If you have children, what do you think it would be like for them, how they would have to live, feeling that your actions were in some way their fault? If you have a wife, that she was in some way responsible? Or your parents? Any siblings?
    One can easily write a suicide note to say that the actions you take are no one else's fault but the writer, but it's much harder to make a suicide note read how you wish it to be read by others and it's harder for the people you care most about to have to read that note.
    Cheer up with some Bubbles!
    :bubbles: :bubbles: :bubbles: :bubbles: :bubbles:
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You sound bored, that happens when you do the same thing day in and day out. When I start to get bored. I tend to get really suicidal. Try changing things up a bit.

    In the end you cannot know if it is worth it unless you continue to live.
     
  4. foolnomore

    foolnomore Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your replies .I apologise for my negative attitude at the moment.
    To fill you in I am female,retired ,in my sixties with four grown up children two that live with me,no partner and no desire to have one either. When I am not so low I really am content on my own. I have lived with depression all my life so know that it isn't all doom and gloom and things do get better.This time though I just don't feel I can struggle through this down side again. I seem to have hit a brick wall and can't take my own advice or do the things I have done in the past to get myself out of this hole.
    I have done so much in my life there is not much else left for me to do. My only dream is to take a hot air balloon ride and as money is so tight I cannot see that ever happening . I used to take myself off to the mountains to recharge my batteries ,it was what kept me sane but I can no longer afford that and again cannot see that I ever will . So what else is left for me? I have the time to do the things I enjoy but no money to do them .I just feel hopeless,useless and worthless.
     
  5. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    **hug**

    so do the kids know of this dream? Could they perhaps chip in towards that or gas towards going to the mountains? It may lift your spirits a bit, even temporarily. Worth a try. Ever go to the balloon fests? They are awesome.
     
  6. sha8811

    sha8811 Member

    I'm sorry to hear your struggling so much. Well, since you're retired and spent your life working for money why don't you pick up a hobby. Something your good at, that you enjoy doing and that could possibly bring in a little money. For example, say you loved sewing you could make cute aprons and sell them to family and friends. Or if you loved to bake, make cakes for others special occasions. Something, anything, that will add some zest into your day would be helpful. And if not, volunteering is always a good thing. One thing I've learned is there's always someone who has it worse off and being there to help them may help you re-align your thoughts on your situation too. Hang in there though, you are important to your children I'm sure as well as others around you.

    PS, I've been on a hot air balloon ride, it's worth sticking around for!
     
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