Is it almost time?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by durbin, Aug 31, 2012.

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  1. durbin

    durbin New Member

    I do not wish to give my name but I am a 33 year old male. I am a medically retired vet and I have crossed the point that I don't want to live anymore. I have a wife and 6 kids, and they were the ones keeping me from doing it, I am fed up with them. My kids are bad and my wife says she loves me but is always yelling. There is nothing but total chaos in my house! I hate people and always want to fight people and I don't have any friends (because I don't want to). My whole body is messed up and I can not work due to physical and mental injuries. I go to school but due to my TBI I can not learn new things so I stay on youtube all the time at school. I drive places forgetting where I am going or drive places I don't know how I got there. If I am not there I stay in the house all the day, I am emotional connected to my family anymore. I haven't told my kids or wife I loved them in 4 years and I don't hug them at all. My kids call me mean and a jerk all the time and don't listen to what I tell them. I have always been scared to die and I still am, but I am to the point where I don't care anymore. I just really want to disappear from everyone and everything. Everything I try dosen't change anything. I see a psychiatrist but I hate talking to people. I am never happy, always in pain, and never feel like doing anything. What is someone suppose to do when there is no hope or help. I know most of you will say what about your family, I really don't care, maybe they will see how bad I really am.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Right now you do not see any hope but it is there ok just you can't see it. If you do nothing then nothing will change IF you get a psychologist to help you with your anger with your depression then your kids will see you trying to change and perhaps they will also change. Family therapy for your children It seems they need help so get it together go together and heal as a family. Your doctor can prescribe you something for your depression but something has to change and only YOU can make that change hun
    Get help for YOU you deserve help and compassion ok so do it
  3. durbin

    durbin New Member

    I have medication and see a physch but it dont work. I am tired!
  4. Royalsapphire

    Royalsapphire Member

    If he doesn't work, almost depends from you!
  5. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    Hello, my advise would be to find out if your suffering from ptsd as well as depression. I would warn you that losing your family will have an enourmous affect on your emtional well being and as such do what ever you can to emotionally support them, even if that means pretending everything is fine. You are isolated and in a great deal of pain, which means your in a very dangerous place psychologically speaking. You need to see a psychologist/psychotherpist and doctor to get their help and support, maybe go on anti-depressants.

    I wish you all the best my friend
  6. TaraB3ar

    TaraB3ar Well-Known Member

    I work at a VA hospital; have you tried seeking help with your local VA? There are in-patient resources to help you or at the very least give you a break from your family for a bit.
  7. durbin

    durbin New Member

    The VA here dosent help with nothing. I do have PTSD, Bi Polar I, and depression. I can't seem to get any help out of the VA except some Bi polar medication. They wont help me with my mental or physical problems!
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