I do not wish to give my name but I am a 33 year old male. I am a medically retired vet and I have crossed the point that I don't want to live anymore. I have a wife and 6 kids, and they were the ones keeping me from doing it, I am fed up with them. My kids are bad and my wife says she loves me but is always yelling. There is nothing but total chaos in my house! I hate people and always want to fight people and I don't have any friends (because I don't want to). My whole body is messed up and I can not work due to physical and mental injuries. I go to school but due to my TBI I can not learn new things so I stay on youtube all the time at school. I drive places forgetting where I am going or drive places I don't know how I got there. If I am not there I stay in the house all the day, I am emotional connected to my family anymore. I haven't told my kids or wife I loved them in 4 years and I don't hug them at all. My kids call me mean and a jerk all the time and don't listen to what I tell them. I have always been scared to die and I still am, but I am to the point where I don't care anymore. I just really want to disappear from everyone and everything. Everything I try dosen't change anything. I see a psychiatrist but I hate talking to people. I am never happy, always in pain, and never feel like doing anything. What is someone suppose to do when there is no hope or help. I know most of you will say what about your family, I really don't care, maybe they will see how bad I really am.