Is it appropriate?

My social worker/counsellor, when he first started working with me, gave me all of his phone numbers & said I could call him whenever I needed to. Now, me being the type, that doesn't like to ask or muchless, call someone, for help, actually thought about doing so when I had a massive psychotic episode last night.
My family is a mess, over a recent divorce, so both parents & siblings are not there for crisis relief....& our local police have gone on a rampage about the amount of mental health crisises they have to respond to & Idon't want a lecture from them...
Sooo would it be appropriate for me to call my counsellor/social worker if I'm in a crisis?
I know the answer seems obvious but it doesn't feel obvious when I think about it

 

Could this forum be of any help in getting through the crisis of the next night, and then make the call if there's still a need? Please don't take this as an 'expert' opinion.

 

No expert opinion needed =)
It helps but at the same time, these manic episodes can get out of hand due to a medication I am on.
Your right though, it does help when its mild but it can cause me to get out of control to the point I worry it gets dangerous.... last night I tore my apartment apart, ran thru the building & outside trying to find the music I kept hearing & it drove me nuts. I kept seeing shadows & hallucinating that my deceased dog was laying soaked in blood on my bed...it gets scary

 

Personally, I try to maintain the ups and downs that go on in my head so that they rise and fall gently like the ebb and flow of the tide. One day of the lunar month, the Moon might be more aligned with the North Pole and then on another day at the other end of the month it's around the South Pole, some what like bipolar moon revolving around a bipolar planet.

When I've tried to put a cap on the bottled up emotions, whether with medication or some sort of interesting activity in life such as a challenging job or relationship, the emotions build up the pressure inside that bottle until it eventually explodes and I find myself stamping around down in the carpark crashing a Bible onto my forehead and looking up at the sky as some sort of challenge to God. Rather embarrassing the next morning, and lucky for me that has not happened for over eight years now, but the way that seems to work for me is to let the ups and downs happen smoothly, gently, naturally, and put the manic moments to good use when I can, and write things down at places like this when the downside happens.

I believe that the Moon maybe just starting to wane about now, and part of being a sentient being on this planet is to fall into step with the Moon, because it's much bigger than all the rest of us put together.

Not much help to you, most likely, but I hope that things can steady for you tonight and whoever gave you the meds should come around and tidy up your apartment after what they made you do to it, IMHO.

 

The universe is a powerful thing & I fully believe it influences humane behavior.
Thankfully, my social worker isn't the one who put me on me on the meds, it was a doctor. My social worker, takes good care of me, which for me is a first

 

It would probably be a sure sign of how cynical I get towards the drug dealers of the health system after so many catastrophes in the past on the drugs, if I was to wager 50 cents on you never seeing your doc turn up at your front door in a pair of overalls and industrial gloves to say, "Just dropped by to clean up all the mess I made with that last prescription I wrote you.", so I might be best not to mention it.

I hope that a little humour is not too out of place right now.

 

Ok, that made me laugh, but its very much true. Waaaayyy to much money to be made in the drug industry right now. I'm fairly anti-anti-depressant... I just don't believe in them.

At the same time eventually I have to get control...it's bad enough now that I can't get myself under control & have to debate whether or whether not to call my counsellor at times.

 

Sorry to take a while to think before reply. I hope that these simple anonymous distractions of the forum can help to bide the time until tomorrow, and it's very much a decision that you must make about whether to pick up the telephone or not, and when to do it.

Sometimes, maybe social workers (in general) tend to be of more professional use after the moment has passed, and maybe to call up such a counsellor to tell them "That is what happened back then and what would be a solution for the next time?" can have a more reliable outcome than to call to say "THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW!" which IMHO can often be easier to relate to others when you've had time to put different things into some kind of context that those others might have more chance of understanding.

Very much a generalisation of mine there, but I'm hoping to be here on the forum for the next 8 hours or so, and it's doing me a lot of good to have a conversation like this, if you also have the time to stay up and post. It must be starting to get into the evening now where you are although I'm not yet aware of which particular timezone. Here is GMT+8 so it's just after 11am.

 

Its just past 11pm here but I have no intention of sleeping because that's when bad things happen. <--- which goes to prove how paranoid I'm getting.

 

If you have the 'luxury' of not having to wake up early tomorrow then I hope to at least be some company from here across the globe. Having just read a thread of yours, I would like to mention the murder of my good friend Cheshire who saved my life once in 1998 when my house caught fire in the night and I was asleep, but rather than escape through the open window I always left for him to get outside when he wanted, he ran to the bedroom and jumped on my chest and scratched away the bedsheets to wake me up without drawing a single drop of blood from my skin.

That's probably one reason that I can never forget the night of his death which happened to be Australia Day 2001. He risked his own life to save mine, then a boarder in my house who was grumpy with me killed him as some kind of revenge against me when I asked her to pay her astronomical interstate telephone bill or move out.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss =( It's sad that the best, & most caring people on this world end up having the worst possible things happen to them =(

 

Your therapist would not have given you the numbers had it not been okay to call. There have been many nights I have had to contact mine and she has never gotten angry about it. Don't make a habit of calling at the drop of a hat. Only do so if you really need them to help you walk through things. Your therapist must trust you to do the best thing for you both. Don't be afraid to take the support offered. :hug:

 

:hugtackles: You're right gentlelady ... it's just hard because I'm living alone right now & my parents recent ugly divorce has me a mental wreck.
If it gets out of hand I'll contact him.

 

I hope you've had a chance to get some sleep if you can, Koi, but if you're still up, I guess one thing that Cheshire proved to me was that some other species of animal either have within them or else learn from example the human behaviour commonly known as love.

That he put saving my own sleeping life before his own in the heat of a fire when his escape from the flames was always there for the exit if he had chosen tells me enough to know that that big fat old ginger cat loved me enough to the point of heroics.

I just wish that I could have been there for him when his life was taken, but the ex-boarder was sneaky and abused the trust that I had encouraged him to have in her. It was I who essentially led him into her trap, and her anger towards me was the cause. It will always hurt me to remember that ending to 12 years of a good interspecies friendship.

 

I'm still awake but I think I over did the meds. I can't make everything go away.

 

I've somehow managed to make everything but the one last ciggie go away now, but just dropping back to see if you're doing okay tonight Koi. Sorry if I have been in the chatroom for the last hour or so. I hope that things are smoothing and sleep might be an option for you soon.

 

Thanks Seano =) I think for safety reasons I won't sleep. I'm already having trouble breathing & swallowing, plus tunnel vision at times... I'll wait it out.

 

Sorry to be away so long. I've been in the chatroom and totally forgot about things for a while. I feel like i have failed you, Koi. I am sorry to have drifted off like that.

 

That's totally fine :hugtackles: You didn't come on the forum JUST for me, so you have rights to your freedom! :biggrin:

 

I guess it's just that this is a time when I said I would stand by you, and for whatever excuses I can think of, I'm basically letting you down, and I should have done better.

I am here, on this forum, but getting a little occupied in the chatroom and that logs me out from here so I hope to do better at keeping my promises when I know about the ways to keep up a little better.

Are you almost ready to trust in a good sleep soon?

I hope so, because if it's okay, I should be getting to sleep in 20 minutes myself. I don't want to desert my friends.