Not sure exactly why, but two weeks ago I decided I should see my therapist again. I first saw her three years ago when I was having difficulty adjusting to moving. She's great, and I pretty much trust her. But I still have not been able to tell her everything. I couldn't even admit that I've thought about outing myself. And I'm not really all that at risk for actually going through with the act, but it would've been better to own up to having suicidal thoughts. Hell, I haven't even been able to really say that I'm bisexual. Which isn't such a big deal to me, because I've told plenty of people in my circle of friends. Yet with my therapist, I'm almost paranoid that she'll tell my mom or just over evaluate this more than necessary. I don't know, I always get the urge to lie when I'm talking to my therapist. But really, regardless of what I say, she'll tell me that I've just got to adjust my thinking. Turn the negative thought into a positive one, right? Yet, I'm having trouble just even figuring out what's going on in my damn mind. Some days I just feel like dying.