Is it easier to be surprised by suicide or to know of it beforehand?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Acclimation, Oct 18, 2013.

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  1. Acclimation

    Acclimation New Member

    For those who know someone who plans to take their own life, would the situation be made more or less difficult with prior knowledge of the intent to commit suicide? Why?
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I lost my son to suicide.
    It does not matter really, either way. Regardless of prior knowledge or not, everybody left behind is absolutely devastated. It changes the lives of those who are close to the individual, sometimes horribly. That said, if someone is contemplating suicide, they should let others know so that they can seek out help. Life decisions should always have contingency and suicide is probably the only decision in life that cannot have a backup. Once done, you cannot change your mind later. For those who say that it doesn't matter because they would not change their mind, they are wrong. You do not know if you would or if you would not. The only thing you will know, going in to it, is that you won't have an opportunity later to find out.
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    sometimes I answer questions with a question. I am curious what causes you to post this question. Is it that you know someone who is planning to take their life? Or are you, by chance, thinking of taking your own life? I personally do not think there is any easier way to deal with the suicide of a loved one or friend.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    It doesn't really matter; the pain experienced by those left behind is going to be excruciating.
  5. sweetles

    sweetles Well-Known Member

    a few years ago i lost a friend to suicide, and though he did not tell me the exact day it was going to happen, he let me know beforehand that he was planning his exit. and i knew it wasn't just talk, he quit his job, sold almost all of his belongings, donated all of his clothing except two shirts and two trousers, etc. when we would go out for lunch or something he insisted on paying and only going to the most extravagant places, burning up his credit card, because "it doesn't matter now." so yes i knew he was going. in my opinion, it did make it somewhat easier, when i called him and his sister answered his cellphone and said that he was gone. it was a shock but not a surprise. and this may sound odd but i did not feel sad for him, in fact i felt a little bit happy, because i knew he had been suffering soooo much, day in and day out, for so very many years, and now he was (hopefully) at peace.

    but of course perhaps for a healthy/normal person, it would not matter if they knew beforehand or not.
  6. TeddyZ

    TeddyZ Member

    Ive wondered the same thing. I personally refuse to talk about my decision to any friends/family fearing judgement but i feel like if i left and didnt leave atleast some kind of note or recording or something they wouldnt have proper closure. Racking their brains wondering if it was something they did or if they could of did something. I personally wont tell anyone before i do but i will leave some kind of closure for them.
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