is it enough?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by soldierofra, Nov 25, 2007.

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  1. soldierofra

    soldierofra New Member

    Hi, I'm 15. I'm not from America or something, I'm from Europe and I was seeking help so I found this. I don't know if what I'm suicidal about is enough to actually be suicidal. I had a rough youth, you can still say I'm am in my youth. I haven't been abused or anything. Just that my sister ran away from home after a rough fight while my dad was recovering from an accident in the hospital. She accused my brother for ridiculous things. She backed down in the end. And after all these years, my parents forgave her and now my brothers(24&25) and my grandparents don't want to see us anymore because of it.

    I guess this is a fundamental part of my depression. I lost lots of best friends along the way, the fact that i had about 5 best friend up to now is quite impressive but now I don't have anyone. I moved after that, losing all my friends. I made new friends but most of them after 2 years changed school or moved. So I lost them again, now I'm here without any friend. I always met friends by chance. Some school involved event. Somehow the friends I had, we kinda grew apart and now I feel as if I don't have anyone and since I have had this for some time, I think I never will. I don't know why I feel this way. For once because I'm a guy who sits infront of his pc all day. So I was kinda used to not having much social contact. But now I seem to have a unnatural urge for social contact which is a problem because not only don't I have any friend, I'm very shy as well.

    I think about killing myself everyday. My parents have been through so much, it seems that every bad grade I get is like I'm disappointing them, every time, again and again. I told a girl in my class how I feel with my depression. It seemed like she didn't even care. I get these daydreams that I kill myself and watching down on them, feeling sorry for ever questioning me. I read a few other topics here, and my problem seems like nothing compared to others. I never had a reletionship nor has anyone been interested in me. I've told a girl how I felt about her once, the b**ch drilled my self confidence into the ground and spit on it. She's still bullying me after 2 years, everyone is bullying me. I'm just one lonely gamenerd. My parents don't suspect a thing. I don't want to talk to them about it, I'm afraid they'll say that I'm too young to know what depression is. Or they'll send me to another school to make some friends, but I just can't fit in somewhere else. Any advice?
     
  2. cakeyz

    cakeyz New Member

    I kid, but seriously, you need to just find other "gamenerds" you can chill with, and just try to lighten up. teens go through this all the time.
     
  3. PeeOnYou

    PeeOnYou Member

    Wow.. that sounds so incredibly similar to what happened to me when I was just a little younger than you are now. My dad died and we moved away from the best friends and the ONLY friends I'd ever known in my 13 years of life.

    We moved to a small town where I just couldn't seem to make friends with anyone, and worse people seemed to automatically hate me because I was new and different. Eventually I did make friends, but it was an extremely hard and long process of just going with the flow, day in and day out. Stick with it and you'll be just fine.

    One thing I wish I would've done back then was be more involved in school activities, sports, go to the YMCA or something... get some hobbies. That definitely helps!
     
  4. soldierofra

    soldierofra New Member

    thx for both ur advice, it really helped :smile:
     
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