Is it ever going to END?????

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ket93, Dec 29, 2008.

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  1. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    I am talking about the pain....
    I have been in bed most of the day crying and depressed and feeling horrible and lonely ...
    Only after talking to my ex earlier, I felt worse!!
    He says he still loves me and blah blah blah... but after talking to him its like I feel worse and I feel like that much more of a fUC8 up. How do I move past these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness.?
    I feel like I do have problems or issues I need to work on... and I have became more aware of that since we have decided to take a break... But why wont he act like he cares if he says he does?
    I just want someone to love me so bad... I am so tired of being lonely!!!!
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Your pain will not stop as long as you allow your ex to have any type of hold on you. You are grieving the loss of the relationship and this adds to the despair and lonliness. Depite your feelings you need to keep your mind active. The more you lie around doing nothing, the mmore time your mind has to think about what has happened and feel bad about it. This is called rumination. Keep yourself distracted so you don't have time to let your thoughts wonder around in your mind. :hug:
     
  3. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry you feel like this :hug:
    relationships are tough and it's worse when they end
    but you'll get through this
    if you need to talk, don't hesitate to PM me :smile: xx
     
  4. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    i kinda know how you feel, i feel the same
    i broke up with a girl and miss feeling happy and loved
    i dont really feel valued or loved by anyone
    and i feel so lonely
    i think the way to approach this is to feel that things cant get any worse
    so (and this is what im trying to do) push yourself into the world, try and meet new people, and the more people you meet and interact with, the more likely you are to find people who love you and value you, and with time happiness will come and loneliness will go
    i think this is the best way forward and thats what im trying to do :)
     
  5. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    Gentlelady
    Luckily I have been fairly successful at keeping busy and not thinking a whole lot about the whole situation... I mean, there are many times during the day I think about things and that I feel sad, but not to the point where I am crying or in intense pain like I was over the weekend...
     
  6. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    Thanks Laura for offering you advice and a ear... :) I may take you up on that sometime!
     
  7. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    Hi Tenden,
    Thanks for your advice...
    I am trying my best just to take one day at a time because it is very hard feeling like I am no longer wanted or needed... I keep hoping that as each day passes he will miss me more, but I am starting to get the feeling that maybe he really doesnt and that maybe he is starting to be ok being away from me for good...?
    Just as an example, he called me earlier after he got off work just to talk. Well I was with a friend and busy at the time, so he said to call him back later... we texted each other a few times, then I called him back later... He was watching a movie with his kids so he said he would call me back... he got off the phone rather quickly and just said :BYE: when he hung up... not the usual, I love you. Which kind of hurt... well it hurt a lot really.. And so I sent him a text after that saying sorry to have bothered him and that I loved him.. that was almost an hour ago... nothing back since... so what to think???? :(
     
  8. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    ket, i know exactly what you mean with the whole hoping they will miss you more and more as time goes on
    i think from what youve said the best advice i can give you is move on.
    now im sure as soon as youve read that the very thought seems impossible and crazy and stupid. i know this because the thought of moving on from my gf just seemed beyond me and i thought i was incapable of doing that.
    but i think its the best way forward, because its going to kill you inside being with and talking to this guy, who i understand doesnt want to continue the relationship. i dont know how youre situation is, but i think teh more time you spend away the better, and try and focus on othwer things to give you happiness even if it is only for a minute. Maybe involve yourself in a new activity or job or something
    look at youre time with this guy as an experience that youve learnt from, and even though its ended badly, youve learnt from this experience and you now know more about yourself hopefully
    Trying to second guess what this guy is thinking or doing when he says or doesnt say something to you, is going to drive you mad and its going to accomplish nothing. I know a lot of what i said probably seems stupid and unrealistic for you, but have faith in yourself and try to push yourself forward postitively
    thats what ive been trying to do, and to an extent ive succeeded, although i do really miss my ex a lot sometimes but still, things are improving.
    PM me if you need to chat :hug:
    xx
     
  9. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    Well we have been talking and he still tells me he loves me... so I guess in a sense we are still together... I think he had just reached a point over the weekend that he did not want to deal with anymore fighting... and I cannot and do not blame him at all for that. I do not want that either...
    At this point I am feeling better about things as a whole... and I believe that given enough time and with trying to get help for my issues, that maybe we can be like we used to be... very happy...
     
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I hope that things do work out for you. I am glad that you were able to keep yourself busy more as time went on. Every relationship has it's difficulties. Sometimes when you are able to work things out, the relationship strengthens. I hope that is the case. If you need someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry on, or even share happy thoughts with, my PM box is open. Please take care. :hug:
     
  11. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much gentlelady... I appreciate that...
    I definately have felt wanted and welcome here and this is a place I think I will stay regardless of how things work out for me in my current situation...
     
  12. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    I appreciate all who posted comments... it has helped me greatly in dealing with the past few days...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2008
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