Is it ever too late to make a comeback?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A Self Made Loser, Dec 3, 2007.

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  1. A Self Made Loser

    A Self Made Loser Active Member

    I have made mistake upon mistake in my life that I was up once again until 3am this morning thinking everything about my shitty little life that I have screwed up and only me. It's my fault, I feel I dug myself the grave now I deserve to lay in it.

    I decided to go back to college to try and get direction but I can't concentrate at all, it just seems everyone younger than me is brilliant smart while I sit like the big screw up I am, thinking of ignorance and how incapable I am and how it's cost me by my own admission. My family dont understand and are not interested as they have heard it all before from me with failed OD attempted suicides and the hospital visits.

    I want to find hope and reason to make a go and do well but how the hell can I and whats the point when I feel I have passed up every good opportunity and chance (this is my last chance) but I feel guilty for being so mentally weak, I cant even get a part-time job working which will require me to work with the public as I have no confidence in myself and my abilitys in the workplace or in education because of all the failed attemps before.

    Tomorrow is my birthday and I am seriously thinking of pulling the final curtain on myself with some metal chain I got for round my neck. But am I thinking too much, taking life to seriously or not enough? I don't know, I need guidence from people who know from their own experiences and thoughts like here on SF.

    Please could somebody offer me some advice and guidence, I need some perspective on life if there is any????
  2. Lovely_Reverie

    Lovely_Reverie New Member

    I've been here before many many times and its very difficult to find clarity in these things all alone. Thankfully you do have the good people here whenever you need to vent or you are feeling down. In terms of education I understand it's difficult and almost a little embarassing seeing younger people in the same class. I've had to go through that with night school but take a step back and look at why you are going. Not for your family, not for those younger students but for you! You don't need to prove anything to anyone, it's all about you. And hey, no one can ever take your education or learning experiences (good or bad) away from you! Mistakes are just that, mistakes, and everyone has the opportunity and the right to learn from their mistakes otherwise we wouldn't call them mistakes. You shouldn't let anything or anyone make you feel guilty for the way you feel, feelings are a part of life and very much a learning process. By acknowledging your feelings and expressing them you are already learning so much about yourself! Guilt is only a crippling feeling if you let it be. Do some positive self talk and remember that there are always people willing to lend an ear. That's got to count for something right?
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