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Is it honestly better to have "support?"

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by QuadLazer, Jul 22, 2009.

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  1. QuadLazer

    QuadLazer Well-Known Member

    So this is just something I've always though about...

    Everyone says this stupid little saying- "people need people." I've mostly heard this out of therapists I've seen. They say you need a "network" and people to talk to to survive. They say we humans are meant for one another.

    Know what I say? Fuck people. No one specifically (I'm not attacking anyone here), just people-dom as a whole. No one ever does shit for anyone else anymore. No one these days gives a rat's ass about anybody else and the only reason people even consider talking to other people/helping someone is for money or acceptance, nothing else. And that is the truth. I mean this 100%. Don't believe me? Take your phone, I can guarantee the next call you get, whoever it may be, WANTS something from you, even if it's something intangible or simple. People have always been cruel to each other on every level imaginable and want everything for themselves and then fuck everyone else. No one wants responsibility for shit. The only reason people even have friends is so they feel like they're a part of something and so they can bitch about shit in their life that doesn't matter.

    That's my take on it. =D
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ....you have a good point.

    especially when you talk about how people have historically, treated others.

    mostly, our instinct for survival, as humans, has been to get what we can, in order to further our own goals.

    however, there are exceptions to every rule

    you may have stumbled upon one such exception, at s.f.

    there ARE people here, who offer support, no strings attached.

    this is a unique place in a way. for me, it is a place where i find acceptance for feelings that society does NOT accept. and understanding and empathy where none exists elsewhere.

    at times, that is enough 'caring'. just knowing, that someone else alive and breathing on planet earth, KNOWS how you feel and does not condemn you for it.
    heck, i don't care if they want anything from me or not. they UNDERSTAND what i am going through and they ACCEPT me, with all my flaws.

    by the way, thanks for your interesting thread. you captured my attention, i appreciate your food for thought.
    just to let you know, there are several people i met here, that saved my life. and they got nothing in return.
    as a result, my daughters live a life without guilt, self-blame or shame. meanwhile the people i met here continue to save me and get nothing.

    just my opinion.
    pm me if you want, i just wanted to share my own experience.
    but i hope i am negating, your own
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I find it patronising when I go to see the Samaritans or certain members from my hospital and they say "You're very isolated," and "You're working but who are you working for?" and "You need to go to volunteering." And not realising not everyone finds their self worth in working blindly for the sake of not saying "I'm ill and can't do that," or "I don't want to." It's a heinous crime to say something like this.

    I met one nurse and she was amazing she said, that she'd never seen someone take life so seriously the way I did and all the nurses, as a whole were glowing about me and the unimaginable changes that has happened with my health. You know, comments like this effect me so much because it makes me realise that not everyone who deals with someone coming to them with suicidal distress looks at them as potential workers for volunteering organisations and does a guilt trip/interrogation on how they spend their time.

    I understand what you mean. I'm very happy by myself and working by myself without people with questionable agendas around me, (some of which are very poisonous, unhelpful btw) and the few people I am in contact with are people who help get my voice heard about people in the healthcare system who are killing and damaging others out there.

    I generally have shut away people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions and have put all that on me, I've nearly died because of that, so why continue such relationships? I'm talking on a personal level and on a wider level too. I mean, ya know, I'm one of those people "not contributing to society" and responsible for "all evil" when I'm on my deathbed, it seems. :tongue:

    When it comes to "support networks," in real life, as they call them, when I'm in great need, I find they aren't too good and I'm left scrabbling on the ground and screaming until someone finally hears me and gives me a few scraps. It may be because all my friends have left me because I'm much healthier and not putting up with their BS. Who knows. I'm happier.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 23, 2009
  4. QuadLazer

    QuadLazer Well-Known Member

    Yeah there's some people who do want to help other people just for the sake of it, but for people as a whole we're nothing but assholes to each other (especially if we don't know each other at all) and that's why I call bullshit on what therapists say about needing people.
  5. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    quad ,
    there are good people like has been said in this thread,and many ask nothing in return..there is a symbiosis in simply being there for each other.Same with the 3d world,only harder to find.You will,though.When you least expect it.We all need human interaction at some level...different for everyone.
    As far as the volunteering aspect mentioned by ggg,there does seem to be an increase in encouragement for people who are depressed to volunteer.I want to volunteer because it IS a good feeling and the more people that get involved the better humanity is..but..depressed people or me at least..can't commit to something that I could end up sorry I did due to my unresolved issues..I just know better.For me it isn't a cure or a treatment it is a GOAL.Maybe both but more a goal.
    And anyways,people can't even get a living wage these days never mind volunteer and juggle mental breakdowns as well.
    quad have you seen the movie,Into The Wild?
  6. confuzzle

    confuzzle Well-Known Member

    that pretty much sums up what i would say
    i need my support so I know that at least i am not alone in suffering or pain.
    sadly, that knowledge is negated at times by the harsh realities of life
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Not all volunteering projects 'better humanity,' rather they give off the impression they are, without having much inward debate about what they are doing. I'm not saying for all, but management, funding is something a lot struggle with, as does increasingly tight guidelines as to who deserves their help, which could again be prejudiced towards certain people (with either certain non-challenging characters or problems) only. I've heard this with women/people contacting DV places- and I've heard they are very paternalistic rather than philanthropic and aren't connected to realities out there. I'm sure there are a lot of people with MH problems who harbour a lot of guilt for whatever reason, and I think this is why so many who work in the MH system or generally adhere to the popular philosophy about "mental health problems", like to pounce/recruit, intentionally or unintentionally.
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