is it just me i think it is, my mind makes up scenarios that only make sense to me. i have kids and a wife only reason i am lingering around, the feeling of hurting them by me committing suicide overcomes the feeling of me hurting my self. life is hard as it is and can only imagine loosing one's loved ones, especially a parent. i have contemplated suicide for so long is a normal routine in my way of thinking. always wishing wanting to not here. lately it has become more and more hard to live a normal life. but you see all of this all i feel is just me. no one around has a clue of how i truly feel. i have countless suicide attempts. maybe this one is just another cry for help. i have created my own life with things that i know i cannot change. i am aware of my illness and the things i have to do to get better. but i do not move a finger to get better for my self or for my loved ones. i am just tired. and tonight i am going to put my self, body to the test. no one knows the outcome of my actions to come, i come to this site to vent.
thanks for your time
J
thanks for your time
J