Is it me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by JustScott, Oct 21, 2013.

  1. JustScott

    JustScott Well-Known Member

    Now, don't get me wrong - I love helping people, and I get a sense of achievement from knowing that I've helped to improve someone's mood, or stopped them attempting or SH'ing, but....

    I need a friend that doesn't have mental health problems. I just...I help so many people, and all of my close friends that I talk to on a daily basis have *some* form of mental health issues, and it makes my problems just, so much worse. And, I don't want to stop talking to them, but I am triggered, or brought down when everyone I talk to is low, or they're planning to attempt, or they're SH'ing and they don't have energy. I don't want to burden them with my problems because I know how hard they have it in the first place.

    And, I don't want to sound like a selfish prick, but...Why the hell are all of my friends trying or succeeding in killing themselves?!
    I just..
    Is it me?
    It's starting to feel like I just make people feel worse. They seem fine - I know I've met people who have gone 6 months without SH. Then, they talk to me, and after a few weeks they're attempting.

    I..I feel like I should just stop talking to people, I seem to make things worse.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Or perhaps their illness has deteriorated and they have not update their doctors to get help they need. Like a med change or different therapy I do understand that you need to surround yourself with positive people hun because if you don't you will be brough down into darkness yourself. Hope you do reach out and find people t hat are stable and that can bring some joy into your life
  3. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Hey, I just wanted to say that I very much doubt that you're the cause of your friends hurting themselves. You seem like a pretty nice person and it certainly appears like you try not to hurt anyone. Please don't blame yourself for those things. I also understand about needing to not be surrounded by depressed people. It can be overwhelming, especially when you have problems of your own. Sometimes you just need a break and to breathe some fresh air. I don't think anyone would really blame you for needing positivity. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me. I could listen to your problems, lol. :) :hug:
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    everyone has some type of mental illness but some deal better than others. I think what you're really looking for are people who's illness is treated and that they aren't down to the point of wanting to die. My mother has schizophrenia and most of the time she's great....she only gets sick after a few years, last time she was okay for 7 years and three years ago she got really sick with it that lasted a year but now she's back to normal...

    I understand though about not helping people who are suicidal or takes a lot of energy to help them, and when you have your own problems, it can get very demanding...I too am looking for people that could care for me a bit, not always me caring...I think that when friendship only goes one way, it's not should go both ways...

    don't hate yourself for feeling that way...I think many do feel like that, without being selfish or's normal...
  5. JustScott

    JustScott Well-Known Member

    Heh, thanks. I just don't see it myself - It's alright for a while, but then things start getting tense, and I get far too worried, more worried than I can handle and everything makes me anxious.
    It doesn't help that I'm pretty much dependent on large amounts of caffeine to feel "okay" every day. It hasn't been a fun couple of weeks, if I'm honest.

    Morning Rush - Maybe. I do want to help people though. I mean, Most of the time I'm alright, it's just the times when my Bi-Polar hits a bad point and everyone else seems to have problems at the same time. But, I don't want to be selfish, which is the hard thing thinking about.
    :/ I need to get my head straight...
  6. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    please don't blame yourself.

    ultimately, (and this is what i've always said), their's only so much you can do for someone

    you can't hold them down and force them to live.... sometimes, the pain is too much
  7. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    keep talking to them. you are not the reason why they are killing themselves.