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Is it normal to miss exes years and years after the relationship ended???

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by GreyCat, Sep 2, 2012.

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  1. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    I was only ever really in love once, ages ago. Since that relationship ended, I have had two other longish relationships, which are over now. Last night I dreamed I was sitting on a couch holding hands with this guy who I haven't spoken to for the best part of a decade, and he went to kiss me and my heart was really pounding fast, then I woke up and was disappointed that it wasn't real. I would never ever tell my friends I dreamed such a thing, and I think this person would think I was a total weirdo for the fact that I still think of him often. The two people I went with since him, I barely think of them at all. Is it normal to still think of long lost loves wistfully or do I need to get a grip?
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    There may be some truth in the saying that you always hold a space in your heart for your first love.
  3. Struggler_

    Struggler_ Active Member

    Some people you always remember stronger than others. Whether it's because they were your first, or just because you had a much deeper relationship with them than others, some just stay with you longer than others--perhaps forever. Though, the feelings you still have for them may just seem more intense now after the dream. I know that every once in a while I'll have a dream that I need a good day or two to get over completely because it affected me so--usually they have to do with exes or other relationship nonsense. Some dreams have more of an effect on you than others, and perhaps that's all it was? I don't know. Whatever it was, like I said, sometimes you just remember some people longer than others for one reason or another.

    Why not use these feelings to get back in touch with that person? Don't come right out and say you had that specific dream about them, but maybe say you had a dream involving them and it made you want to reconnect with them? Perhaps it's your subconscious telling your conscious self what you really want/need? Who knows? lol
  4. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    thanks for your answers...Yeah it's funny, I felt so affected by the dream I had to post about it, but a few coffees later the feeling has left me again. I blame Sertraline, I've been dreaming loads since I went on it, and all about men too all the time. Lol
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Yeah, I tend to think of people I used to have feelings for. Their memory never has to fade, but sometimes it is best just to move on.
  6. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    Yeah Witty, I know it. I'm not pining for him or anything, he's just someone I wonder about, I wonder what became of him, and hope it was good, whatever happened!! My dream seemed very real. It will fade again in a few days, as they do.
  7. Throwmeawayout

    Throwmeawayout Active Member

    Don't feel bad for carrying the love of your past through to the present. Should you be telling a current SO all sorts of stories about your ex? No. But you should not feel bad for how you once felt for your ex.
  8. tness

    tness Well-Known Member


    I think It's quite normal. I still miss my ex like crazy, and I feel that I haven't moved an inch since the breakup 7 months ago. I'm a walking dead.

    The quilt it's killing me slowly.
  9. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I got divorced in 2007 after 12 years of marriage, and even though I have several relationships since then, I still miss my ex loads. When I am in a relationship, my ex is the benchmark that I measure my new partner with. It is very unhelpful and prevents me from finding a loving relationship again.
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