Is it okay to wanting to sleep forever? Is it selfish? Is it okay to leave everything in this life just like this? Is it okay to left my parents and siblings like this? Will my family and my best friends disappointed and sad when they find me asleep later? I kept asking myself that whenever i almost do it, and i broke into tears in the end. I tried to do it, and everytime i tried, those thoughts keep me from doing it. I don't know if i really don't give up yet, or it's just me being a coward. I always thought that there's no need for me to be here. I see no importance for me to be exist so why did i born? So that i could be an example of unwanted people? I kept asking myself and to the god up there. Then it hit me, why i thought about them? Why it's not okay to be selfish? They don't need me so why i should think about them? why shoud they cry and disappointed of me? Everytime i thought about that, something inside me is eating me alive. It's painful and suffocating. I also feel so empty and cold after that. It really scares me sometimes. But i hope whatever that is, could really end me someday. I'm sorry if this is very negative and dark, but, those are my thoughts right now.