Is it possible to live asexual?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by nicesinging1, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    I am just curious. Do you know anyone/have you seen anyone who lives his/her life with no interest in sex whatsoever?
    Is it possible to lead a life as a human being without any interest in sex, hence living single forever consumed by just work, eating, sleeping, etc...?
    Can you say life was fulfilling if you never had sex and hence never left your offspring before you die?

  2. nicesinging1, please seperate the issue of sex/relationships from the issue of having children. Not everyone who wants sex/relationships also wants to have children.
  3. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    I think its very possible, you can lov someone without 'making love'. you can have an intimant relationship, girlfriend, or wife without having sex. the key is to truely know you are that way and find someone like you/that accepts that.

    as much as I think about it.... Sex isn't everything.

    I will leave this world without having children, if I live my life out and want kids i'll adopt. I don't see how i'd be any less fulfilled. live as you want to, not as you feel is 'right' by society or history.
  4. KohlRimmed

    KohlRimmed Well-Known Member

    although I've had my moments, and it may just be because i'm young (well, 18, but i feel much older sometimes), i don't really have any interest in sex whatsoever. I'm just..not that sort of person i suppose, i don't feel i need that sort of intimacy to lead a happy life :)

    I've known older people to live quite happily without sex, so yes, it's possible.
  5. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Yeah I think it is possible. Though I've never seen someone like that nor do I know if people are born that way or it is because of events in their life. I think it would be highly likely for rape or sexually assulted victims for example...
  6. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Yes although my girlfriend doesn't like the word asexual as it suggests something wrong. She just doesn't have any interest in 'having sex' other than teasing and playing with me and making me go crazy :dry:. Sex for me isn't sex it's an extension of a close relationship and it isn't the be all and end all.
  7. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    There are asexual people, but they are supposedly very rare.
  8. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    Well I must be pretty rare then !

    Had a few sexual encounters in my younger days (15-20) nothing too serious, with guys and girls, then got really, really freaked out by the hole gay thing and didn't even consider having sexual relationship with any one, I fooled around with the odd guy (you can count them on one hand) along the way (all one off meetings), until I hit 40, up to that time I was not exactly happy, but not really sad either, I just didn't really feel anything for anyone.

    Now reaching middle age, the sadness of living that kind of life, has hit me like a tonne of bricks, sometimes its more than I can stand, not a nice place to be, not at all, it's like I have had my life on hold for 20 odd years the irony of it is, I was quite happy to go along with it, through fears and ignorance.

    So for me, having led that life, then no its not possible to be truely happy and be asexual, you might think you are, you might tell yourself you are, but deep down in the cold darkness of a lonely night, you'll know you are only fooling yourself, because you will have never really known true happyness

    The worse thing, that really gets to me now, is the fact, I have never woken up with someone else in the bed next to me, that's just wrong at my age and something I intend to change as soon as I get the chance.

    So if you feel that way now, then thats ok, if you are comfortable with it, but if you are that way through fear or because thats the way you think things are supposed to be for you, then don't settle for that, as hard as it my be, as much as it may scare you, then try, like you have never tried before, not to give up hope, get out there and do your vey best to meet other people, even if they are just friends, from personal experience you are never going to meet "someone", if you never meet anyone at all.
  9. Previously married - My life has been so seriously fucked up, in countless ways, for the last 15 years that I wouldn't have invited ANYONE into my life (truly, out of kindness!). I've had far more than plenty to deal with and overcome without the complications of a relationship (which I see as often over-rated, too focused on). Not to mention that I would never bring children into this already overcrowded fucked up world!

    So... I call myself a "Born Again Virgin"! :biggrin:
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2008
  10. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    yeah. I like the idea of self discipline, having total control over your self. Suppressing unwanted urges. I don't care about sex at all, or being alone. I've been alone all of my life, will be the rest too. Have to learn to deal with it on your own.
  11. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    It's absolutely possible, if that's what you want (and by WANT I mean, if that is your decision, because it will take discipline if you have any sexual feelings at all). It's not only possible, but it could conceivably make you happy (although in that case it should probably be for either religious or philisophical reasons). But if you do not have a higher goal or a reason for your abstinence, it may become difficult. But of course, if that is the path you want to take, it can be done if you are dedicated to it.
  12. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I think this a fantastic posting and well done you for bringing it up, and in answer to the question posed, it is possible to live an asexual life. Speaking out of experience I would say I have been living that life, I only have sex with partners for their benefit and not mine, I could quite easily live without it and become celibate, but the odds of meeting a partner of the same orientation is somewhat limited, so having sex is necessary to maintain a relationship.
  13. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    My friend is completely asexual. Doesn't have sex, doesn't think about sex, has never had a single sexual desire in all of her years. Just lives without all of that. I can't relate, but it suits her just fine.
  14. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    I think there was a study done quite recently that put the asexual population at 1%, so officially it is quite rare, but it's of course excluding many that haven't admitted to being asexual for whatever reasons and those that weren't aware of the study. I believe quite a few people live completely asexual lives, afterall, the term wouldn't exist in the dictionary if people didn't live asexual lives. :wink:

    Whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy, just live it. Do what feels natural to you and ignore the current trend.
  15. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I guess it's possible. But who would want to? Sex is one of the many pleasures of life that should be treasured and enjoyed. Responsibly of course but enjoyed nonetheless.
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    i dont have desire to have sex, have too many bad memories of it
  17. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    yes. i had 30 years of sex in bad relationships where sex was the only reason for the relationship. i was also wildly promiscuous off and on & tried just about everything just to say i'd done it. i've also experienced love with a sexual partner. i made a choice 6 years ago to be celibate & don't regret it. i gave a great deal of thought to the decision; the realization of the time and energy i'd spent on sex and how that could be utilized on other pursuits was the determining factor. the chances i'd taken STD-wise (hepatitis B is deadly serious, a virtual epidemic and very catchy) were stupid on my part. do i miss it?-no. would i rule it out in the future?-no, but there would have to be love, friendship & trust. not so easy to come by. i still like to check-in to see if i'm sexually attractive tho:tongue:.
  18. klodo

    klodo Well-Known Member

    If you are truly asexual then you have no desire for sex at all so don't crave it anyway. Its the same as if you have never had a drink so you don't have a desire for alcohol. If you have a normal sexual desire but don't do anything you are either doing it on purpose like a monk or you probably have a serious personality disorder.
  19. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    I agree 100%, asexuality isn't the same as celibacy. :wink:

    Explains it pretty well:
    "Note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity; many asexuals do have sex, and most celibates are not asexual"
  20. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    if youre asexual i dont think you should be truly depressed about not getting any or being afraid; just my thoughts