Is it possible to lose control?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WhateverDan, Nov 29, 2011.

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  1. WhateverDan

    WhateverDan Member


    I'm wondering if I should be concerned or take precautions about harming myself or other people because whilst it's never happend before my judgement and state of mind are both very confused at the moment. I've been extremely drunk and depressed in the past and I am always completely aware of what I am doing but right now my mind is such that I feel I could lose touch with what's going on at any moment.

    My biggest worry is that frustrations and thoughts of suicide which generally are simply that, may materialize in a more physical form. For most of my life I could be absolutely certain that I wouldn't react in violence or lose control but just lately things seem very different. It's not that there is a lot going on to upset me either, I feel like my brain has just slowly deteriorated over time from depression and anxiety and now it's in a more vulnerable state.

    Does that make sense to anyone?

    I don't know if I'm reading too much into this or getting overly stressed but I feel as though I need immediate help and as I'm sure you all know there is no such thing, only a 2 week wait for student counselling.
  2. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    You may be able to go to a hospital ER and tell them you fear harming yourself or others, that may get you help sooner.

    Yes, it is possible to completely lose control, especially when drinking. Until I quit drinking, I was always afraid to find what I'd done the night before. I even had a name for those visions that I wasn't sure whether they really happened, or were my imaginings - "the horrors". I had confirmation from others that I was capable of all types of stupidity while drinking.

    You're in the right place, lots of support and encouragement.
  3. WhateverDan

    WhateverDan Member

    Thanks for the response, that ER thing sounds like a good idea.
  4. Irene L

    Irene L Member

    Yes it is possible to lose control. I have done it many of times usually ending badly where I take an overdose of pills. If you are getting scared that is a huge sign to get help now before you lose control. The ER of any hospital is great place to get help the fastest in my opinion. Be honest with the the doctors and tell them how you feel especially about the suicidal thoughts. I now go to the ER when I can recognize when I am getting to the point of doing something to harm myself. It is my safe place to go.
  5. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    Hey Dan, sorry to see you here but it's also fantastic that you found this site. Try getting the counseling started and let them know it's urgent. My University also had a 2 week wait but at the time I was so close to killing myself that they rushed it to just a week while ensuring that I would be okay that entire time. Just go in and be honest about what's happening and they may do the same for you. Until you can get in and create a safety plan with a counselor, just know that the ER is there in case you feel like you're on the verge of doing something un-doable.

    Try also to see if you have any friends that wouldn't mind just watching you for a night here and there as well. Not to counsel you but to be a physical barrier between you and anything you might use to hurt yourself as well as a constant reminder of what you would be leaving behind and hurting if you were to go through with it. If you decide to do this, make sure you have someone trustworthy and safe. You can also call any crisis line available (I only know of 1-800-SUICIDE, but there are certainly more) to get immediate advice if you're having trouble thinking for yourself to stay safe. Just know that you are in 'control' the entire time, but the options you see as viable become oddly limited. I always viewed it as tunnel vision (i.e. why talk to anyone about this when you could just cut/kill yourself instead? I'm limiting myself) it's the inability to see alternatives that makes it feel like I'm going out of control. There are options for when you feel like that, and it's great that you're seeking them out before it's too late.

    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2011
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