Is it possible?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by LetItGo, Jan 3, 2008.

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  1. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Do you think its possible to live under the same roof as your ex-girlfriend, as a friend? with no intimacy, but just seeing each other every evening, and possibly first thing in the morning. The problem is i dont really have a seperate living space, other than the computer room. Once im home from work there isnt much to do other than watching the Sci-Fi channel, or something else together which is a bit awkward. (The main TV is in the main bedroom...) I still want to touch her you see :sad:

    Even if i could make it through this month, 4 weeks, 4 weeks pay would be enough to see me into my own place. Maybe I should just go drink a few more pints and forget about it
     
  2. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Yeah it's possible, but if you still want to touch her you might find it horribly frustrating and you might go out of your mind from sexual frustration..
     
  3. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I think it's best for you to get out of there Matt...it's just making it twice as hard having to see her every day. Bring up the past and emotions that need to b put to rest. Try and get out as much as u can...not only to get away but also to move on to bigger and better things :biggrin:
     
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Seeing as you swore up and down you weren't going to move in with her so fast I don't think it's wise to stay there still. I think you should find your own place and try living your own life instead of waking up everyday and seeing someone that you love(d). I think it's time you start getting your life in order and I'm sorry if this sounds mean but stop living off of other people. Sorry.

    :hug:
     
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Personally I think it depends if either of you still have any feelings fo the other one..
     
  6. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    What do you mean? I dont understand that...ive put in financially, and ill probably do it again before I leave. Living off other people? Dont forget, it was her who essentially invited me to come down, not the other way around.

    If your saying ive stayed around too long, thats probably true, but it isnt easy when your under financial pressure, not too mention your head is in 50,000 places at once.
     
  7. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Matt
    you swore when and if you moved down there you would not go live with her. Deep down i think you knew if you did do that it owuldn't work, it was too soon too fast.

    I also didn't say you were mooching off her, I said you need to live on your own instead of relying on other people.
     
  8. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Ya true, been here since mid November, too long really. Now im stuck, because every day that passes makes it worse and worse, were fast becoming strangers. Rent here is very expensive, and if i move the next suburb over it becomes a mega pain to get to work then, so basically im in trouble. I need to go job hunting yet again. IM trully sick of it
     
  9. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    life isn't meant to be easy, it's meant to be hard work. it wouldn't be life if it was handed to you on a silver platter
     
  10. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    There are those that are born with it made from the moment they pop out of the womb...there still living, life doesnt have to be a ceaceless struggle, it isnt for a lot of people...yet others it never stops being that way. Ive never had to go without something to eat for a week, so ive never had to endure that hunger, but I have had to go 30 odd years without knowing love, that hunger, for me, is far worse.. its just the way I feel these days. Carrying that around for so long, along with all the other baggage I carry around, this failed relationship, and the day to day drudgery of work, shit, eat, sleep...All of it is making me feel the worst ive felt in a long, long time.

    Im straight up fucking over it all.
     
  11. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Deep breaths Matt.

    Would it not be better to go back to your own state? Am thinking you are gonna end up there not knowing a soul and if it's too expensive to live there maybe going back would be a better option?

    I think you could do with having at least one of your mates round you right now, can u go stay with Paul while you sort yourself out?
     
  12. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    matt
    do you think if i was rich i'd be happy? do you think that the rich people don't have depression or issues to deal with? no life is easy like i said. do what terry said and think about going back to your home state.
     
  13. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Ya ive thought about that for sure. Im waiting on news from my old workplace, regarding a possible position for me. Ill know Monday. The thing is though, it feels like going back in time, you know when you leave a place with mixed memories and then you find yourself back there, you feel like you let yourself down, youve regressed, you havent moved on...know what I mean?
    Thats why ive never been tempted to go back to the central coast where I spent all my early life up until 18.

    Melbourne, as a city, has a lot to offer, if i was ever going to go back into education, it wouldnt be in Newcastle, the Uni sux there, Melbourne has like 4 universities. I spoke to mum, she would rather I stay here and build a life here because it has a lot more to offer me. She is prepared to help me financially a little bit if I stay here, some money ill have to pay back of course.

    The other thought is one day going overseas, where can I save more, I can stay with Paul and pay half the rent that being on my own would cost, but id make that up in the extra gambling and booze id spend living with him lol....thats the kicker, so financially its impossible to know which is the better option long term, short term Newcastle, 6 months, 12 months...who knows. He lives 200 metres from a pub, could I modify his behaviour, tone it down a bit...I dunno, last night we spoke, and we had a good laugh, I have nobody in my life like that anymore, nobody I can have a laugh with. I get along ok with K's aunty, but its not the same. Theres also the fact Pauls place is a good distance from my old workplace, its hella long walk in 35c + temperatures for the next 3 months.

    I dunno, your right Terry, I really need a friend right now, somebody im use to and feel comfortable around, but is it the right option for me financially, my health. Could I survive a couple more terrible months here until im established with a view to a better longer term life, could I stand it...im pretty fragile mentally atm, I just dont know.

    I just know, I have to flip one way or the other very soon. I need to make a decision over the next 48 hours so I can say yes or no to getting my old job back if its offered. I need to have an answer by Monday.
     
  14. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Then write out a list of pros and cons for staying/going and be really honest with yourself on your ability to tough it out if you choose to stay in Melbourne. No one will think any the worse of you if you feel you can't go it alone. :hug:
     
  15. zoebaby

    zoebaby Well-Known Member

    hi, i was 32 when i found out what love was, and i married him after only three months of knowing him, i rushed into the relationship too fast and we were incompatible, and it hurt like hell when we seperated, if you find someone you think you can care for go slow and make sure youre on the same wavelink, it might save you some heartache :smile:
     
  16. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Ya your definately right. Ill never rush into a relationship like this again, slow and steady wins the race, ive learnt a lot about myself, when to be open with people, and when to keep your anxieties and insecurities to yourself, exactly how much of yourself to reveal. Ive also learnt that you have to be reasonably happy with yourself as a person, not an ego maniac, just relaxed about your life, confident your going forward...im a long, long way from that right now.

    I gotta realise that it takes time to trully get to know people. K is a special person in many ways. Ive told her so many times, its unlikely ill ever find someone like that again...:sad:
     
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