Is it really that terrible?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Colourful, Jan 1, 2010.

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  1. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    To want to die? I mean...everybody has to die at some point, I'm just choosing to end it sooner. It's my life so don't I have that right? I don't want to keep living...is it that terrible?

    I know it will really affect my family, but I'm gonna die anyway, and people eventually get over deaths...

    I don't get it...
     
  2. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Nope, it's not terrible but it can have terrible effects on others as you know so therefore it's best to fight it. Not only for the others but also for yourself, so you can taste hapiness again. Life is an adventure and there are obstacles you need to inevitably go through.
     
  3. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Yes the effects are terrible but they get over it. My point is I'm going to die at some point anyway, so either way they'll still have to deal with my death..

    And I don't want any of those things, I really don't. I just want out now.
     
  4. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    No, they don't just ''get over it''. Suicide has a scarring effect on others, the effect it has on others is probably worse than any other type of death, it leaves regret and confusion in loved ones, for life.

    And you say you don't want those things, well, something is most likely stopping you from wanting those things. You need to find the strength to carry on, and you can do that with support of loved ones, and you need something to pursue.
     
  5. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member


    I know what you mean.
    I can totally relate as I feel the same way myself.
    Yea, no one lives forever. I'm just choosing to end my life sooner too.
    I don't see the point in torchering myself for the rest of my life in order to keep everyone else happy, wtf, what about my life! They aren't in my shoes.
    Not a single soul is going to grieve over my death for the rest of their life.
     
  6. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Right, yes I'm done with living for others, just to save them from pain...they will heal but I'm so sick of living for them. I just want to end my life now and I don't see how that's a bad thing seeing as it is MY life..
     
  7. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    I totally understand and I agree with you 100%
    Yes, everyone eventually die. I wish one thing has to be done by my choice.
    Yes, I am sick of living for my family. It's not fair but I have to be responsible.
    so I don't know how long I'll last though...
    Anyways, I agree with you and I feel the same way.
     
  8. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    It helps to know I'm not the only one.
    I'm kind of sick of people telling me suicide is a selfish act and think of others. I mean, I love my family and I don't want to hurt them but at the same time I don't want to keep living like this, and I don't see why they should prevent me from doing something that's in my own right to do. I'm sorry that it will affect them and I wish it didn't but I just can't do it anymore. I don't want to. It's not because I don't care.
     
  9. brokendoll83

    brokendoll83 Active Member

    I know exactly what you mean. My family are the only reason Im still alive, despite trying.
     
  10. Suicide is brave not selfish. Are we really that brave. You cant live for others but you can find a way around this for you. No one can make you live and no one should try to. Try to `imagine what you will miss out on tho. Talking is good, stay on here and try to believe in what others are sayingto you. You have helped me tonight and we are all here to help you. Please want to be helped.
     
  11. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I totally agree. its not terrible at all. its your choice, your life. im tired of living for others (my family), as i have noone else. and each day is torture. yes, we all die sooner or later. people should live and be happy till they die. so, when you see no option to be happy again, then why bother? why suffer and die? why not just die and stop the suffering.
    yes, despite all waht i said.... im still here, and i wonder why.... and i say myself: i will hurt my family if i go...
    i dont know how long i can do this.
    and i also wonder.... my family knows im unhappy and sad and lonely. what would hurt them more? to see me dead , or to seeing me like a living zombie everyday?
     
  12. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member


    It's not even that for me...because I know odds are that I will be happy in the future...well probably, i might not be. The thing is I just can't be bothered to stick around any longer waiting for that to happen. Who knows if it ever will happen, or how long it takes. But I'm done and I don't want to stay here to find out and suffer in the meantime.
     
  13. but what if ur missing out on something fantastic? Naive maybe. But what if?
     
  14. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Yeah I try to imagine what I'll miss out on all the time, but like I mentioned in the post above, it's not guranteed that I will be missing out on anything if I go now. It's a risk we take by either carrying on or choosing to end it really...because it can go either way. But if I choose to end it I won't know what I miss out on if I'm dead..however if I carry this on I might be in for a very big disappointment when I finally do die of whatever it is I'll die in the future. I just don't want to wait around to find out what my fate is.
     
  15. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    What if all I'll be missing out on is even more misery and pain? it's a 50/50 chance, one that no one can predict. I just don't want to stay around to see which one it will be. I want some control over this. I want to do something about it now.
     
  16. Do you believe we make our own destiny?
     
  17. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    I don't know...I don't believe in 'fate' I think a lot of factors are involved in our future.
     
  18. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    If you know you will be happy one day, it doesnt matter how long you will wait. Just wait. And when it comes, the happiness you will feel might be even greater than you can imagine. What more we wait for something nice to happen, it will be that better when it comes. Think about it.
     
  19. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I'm sick of hearing people say it's a selfish act too- I disagree.
    I'm done with all the bullshit. I agree it's my life and my choice.
     
  20. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same boat, I really REALLY don't want to go through another year more or less another century. It's so tiresome waking up everyday and going through the motions, and then falling back to sleep. I find no joy in life. Though I love my family with all my heart I'm certain that they could "get over" my suicide just with more time. Humans are adept at progressing through loss and I'm certain my loss would be the same.
    I don't want to hurt them, but I know me living would only hurt them in ways unseen. Loss can have a bunch of emotions even the release of so called drama of a certain family member. I don't think me being alive is gonna help them retain any sort of normacy specially when I'm ALWAYS depressed. Oh well my ramblings to just let you know your def not alone.
     
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