Being in a relationship seems to be one of the major points in life nowdays. I've never been in one. I'm 20 years old, I've never been kissed or hugged or touched or loved or liked or anything by any guy. Thus, I've never had a boyfriend. Overreacting or not, it's one of the things that seems to make me feel so depressed lately. I can't stand hearing people's experiences with their partners or significant others, I just get more depressed and end up feeling all suicidal all over again. Of course, that's not the only thing I feel suicidal for, but a mix of that with everything else that makes me feel this way just makes me shake from crying so much. Maybe I just don't deserve anything at all to even have a boyfriend. I'm never going to get one, anyone. Who would even think of ~trying to love me? No one. I know that much... I don't have a problem with how I look. It's one of the only things I appreaciate about myself. I'm not ugly, a friend of my aunt suggested that he could get me into the modelling bussiness when I was younger, of course I refused because I hate the idea, and that's definitely not the problem. I know looks aren't everything. I don't go for looks. A person with a great heart who I could connect to is more than enough to me. I actually hate people who only go for looks; looks fade with time, and if you're with someone just because of how they look you're going to be deeply disappointed and unhappy with them later in life. It's what inside that matters, because that's what makes a person different and beautiful, if their soul is. I'm quite a nice person, at least I like to think I am, but...Well, I guess I'm also unlucky when it comes to that.