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Is it so bad?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by chilled..., May 8, 2007.

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  1. chilled...

    chilled... Guest

    ok, I was feeling really bad and so I have decided that I will learn to like myself and be ok with myself before I consider making friends. I am at uni and want to live by myself next year. Is that so bad? I hurt a lot of people who liked/ loved me cos of how much I hated myself. Its ok to be a "loner" or whatever as long as ur not unhappy about it right? Right now, I feel awful and I just dont want to drag anyone else into my messed up world. Is that so unreasonable? My family dont get why I dont wanna go out/ meet up with people, it is only cos I dont want to hurt anyone else again cos that is hard to live with. Does that sound SO crazy?
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey there, first of all, welcome to SF. I hope you find the support you are looking for. :)

    I don't think it's crazy at all. You are number one and at the end of the day you should look after yourself as your main priority. If you think living on your own at uni will help you then I say go for it. I don't think isolating yourself totally will help you though. If you need your own space and not share an apartment that's ok but I suggest you do go out with your friends every now and then. Having a break, and being with people can make you chill out and may even help you love yourself more.

    You say you hurt people. No human on this planet is perfect and it's natural for us to hurt others now and then, even if we don't mean it. The fact that your friends don't understand why you don't go out shows to me that they care for you, miss you, and want to hang out with you. Can you speak to one particular friend who you feel closest to about your concerns about hurting people? Have you spoken to anyone such as a doctor/friend/family member about your self hatred? Take care of yourself.
  3. chilled...

    chilled... Guest

    I am not being irrational, I have just been a total bitch to people, and I hate myself for it. I dont want friends if all I ever do is upset them. I dont want family if all I do is hurt them. Id rather be by myself than mess up anyone elses life.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Perhaps some time alone while you figure out who you are will be good.
    However, try not to let it become entrenched, you don't want to end up a hermit.
  5. heavenlyjunkie

    heavenlyjunkie Active Member

    Just be careful about how far you take it. Habits are a tough thing to break, including isolation. Everyone can use some time to curl away for awhile, but in the end, i don't think anyone wants to be completely alone. I've been living on my own for about a year, and this has been the happiest living situation of my life. But it gets horribly lonely sometimes, and this isn't how i want to ultimately stay. Give yourself time to sort things out. Figure out how to stop hurting people (and if you've really done as much damage as you think). But be happy. If you're happy being alone all the time, and that works for you, then that's great. I wish I could be like that too! :)
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