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Is it that bad?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Fantasy Addict, Apr 3, 2009.

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  1. Fantasy Addict

    Fantasy Addict Active Member

    Do you ever feel like you're making everything up or exaggerating something small into something bigger than it really is? Do you ever find yourself angry at yourself for being depressed over something that "shouldn't" have such an effect?

    I've been feeling like this a lot, and I'm not sure what's real and what I've "made up" which terrifies me... I know deep down that my dad isn't such a bad guy, which is extremely hard for me to admit. We had a very mixed up family life in my early childhood, which drove him to make a lot of bad mistakes. I find it really hard to forgive him though because, as if it wasn't enough that he's physically hurt and emotionally destroyed my family's relationship, but I've been taught to hate him since I was a toddler. :unsure:

    I don't know what I should do. I hate his guts and I'm terrified of him, and yet I find myself wanting his approval! I feel so messed up... :unsure:
  2. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    Hello, I had the same situation with my Dad. Thats a very mature statement you just realized. It took me till my late teens early twenties to realize that my Dad was a Human being. A damn hard working Human being.

    I don't know what he did so I can't really comment but it sounds to me like you are making progress.

    Seems to me that you will always seek his approval in one or another even if you are seeking disapproval.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We usually get only one set of 'primary' parents, and getting their approval is quite innate...this is how we attach to the world; and it takes much time and work to override these feelings...we forgive for ourselves, to unburden us and to allow us to move past our anger/rage into a more fostering space...again, if the relationship was not adequate, it takes much time and work...be kind to yourself and know the effort it takes to do the tasks you have set for yourself...all the best, J
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