Is it time?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jms, Jan 12, 2014.

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  1. jms

    jms Banned Member

    So, it's been nearly two years (May 2012) since I last attempted to end my life. At that point, the only reason I was saved was because my partner at the time, and a friend of mine figured out what I'd done in time. Yes, I resent them for that but so be it. Anyway, recently I began to self harm once more, and to be honest, I missed it so much. I feel like things are getting out of hand quickly but I'm not sure I want help or want anything to change. I have managed to pull together a plan once more, that would very likely be successful. My girlfriend recently told me that if she wasn't so scared of death, she would've killed herself already..I took that to mean I make her unhappy. So I've come up with my own plan..and if I ever feel she's comfortable enough to attempt, I'll go ahead too..I dont want to live in a world without her. We've had so many problems lately along with financial stress and unemployment on my part that I feel things are going to end soon. I'm so over all the bullshit and absolutely cannot wait to rest in peace. :)
     
  2. AnnieK

    AnnieK Well-Known Member

    do you want a reply or support or to be left alone? just asking before i babble on...
     
  3. jms

    jms Banned Member

    I have no clue. Maybe I was just babbling myself...I really have no clue. But you know, I appreciate you even thinking about that as not many people would. Apologies for being so indecisive.
     
  4. AnnieK

    AnnieK Well-Known Member

    well, maybe we should form an "Indecisive Club", but we'd probably never get anything done as once we had an idea we'd just change our minds again. :)

    i hear you. my depression is worsening . i don't leave the house since it's such a charade out there. i hope you can find some help or solace on some days. i go back and forth with endign my life. the only thing that stops me is the hurt it would cause those who care about me. but the pain is just about unbearable.

    so there's my two cents. no advice, as i have none, but just a little support and understanding.
     
  5. SuicideSam

    SuicideSam Banned Member

    I understand what both are feeling as I am in the same boat (I started self harming again as well) i really hope you guys dont have to go through with your plans and that things get better:)
     
  6. AnnieK

    AnnieK Well-Known Member

    thank you and how kind of you. i just told somebody the same thing about hoping they don't go thru with it. it's nice to know people who know about this stuff and care enough to respond.

    hope that helping me helped you. :yay:

    also SuicideSam if you want to talk in private about the self harming send me a message. mine is creeping back in and it's never been discussed in therapy/hospital, etc....everybody just poo-poos it. wanted to know if you've had any treatment or tactics that helped you at any point.
     
  7. SuicideSam

    SuicideSam Banned Member

    Thanks Annie I'll send you a pm later:)
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Just replying to say I have read your post and to let you know you are being heard and are not alone. Hopefully the pain you are feeling now is short term and your issues and girlfriends can be resolved. Best of luck to you.
     
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