I'm 15, gonna be 16 in Jan. Rough life, I'm an only child, and my parents never really got along. I have abused OTC drugs for many years. I lost my mother in March, 2010... Suicide. I lived with my grandma since June of this year, now I live with my dad. I prefer living with my dad. I have attempted suicide, but survived. The first time was <edit methods; NyJmpMaster>, can't remember. I was living with my grandma then and she was gone for two days and I was alone, and I wanted to die. I didn't die, and I was operating by the time my grandma got back. I didn't say a word and I felt like utter shit. Last Saturday night/ Sunday morning I decided to try again, but with a higher dose of <method> My dad was at a friend's house for the night. I slept through all of Sunday and most of Monday, but didn't die. My dad has no clue I tried to die, I just played it off like I was ill. Oh.. and I haven't been going to school, I'm switching to homeschool. The reason I am posting this is because I am aware of a possible positive life in the future, but I'm stuck in a sort of state where I'm convinced this planet is dying and it isn't worth living in. For MANY reasons.... I need something, but I don't know what.