I am 37. I have had social anxiety all my life. I have dealt with depression since elementary school. The relationship I was in for over eight years is ending, so I will be on my own again. It was the first serious relationship I was in, and she approached me. I have had sputtering starts in my life where I thought I was going to turn things around, but then set backs occurred. For instance, I got laid off back in 2006. That lasted for over four years, due to a variety of circumstances. I can say the layoff itself was not due to incompetence. At my job now, I am making decisions for the company that will last for years. I do that well. However, the trauma from the episode makes me fearful that it could happen again. I could not survive a repeat at this point. The cut was particularly deep because work was always a place I could count on to go right. There was someone in my past, a long time ago now, that I messed up with. We were friends. But I could not pull the trigger on more, because I felt unworthy of her. In trying to do things to make me feel as though I deserved her, our friendship utterly disintegrated. She is such a sweet person. So that happening was particularly heartrending. At times I feel like I missed my one chance to be happy in life. At the root is my feeling of worthlessness. While people tell me that I am a great person and about the accomplishments they see, I tend to disregard them. I feel as though I have not done enough to balance the wrong I have done in life, so I discount the good side of the ledger. I was seeing a therapist recently, but we mutually agreed to end the relationship. It was too the point where I know I have to change, and there was no point in arguing if I could or could not. She did email me afterwards to tell me she had faith in me. I have great potential. I do not live up to it. I think it has to do with the social aspects of my life. What's the point of doing good without friends and someone you love to share it? I do not ask for help easily, and I have tried to do too much alone all this time. But I can no longer go on like that. I cannot live another 37 years like this. The slow death is too excruciating. I am coming to the point where I do not care if I am happy. I am coming to the point that I just do not want to feel pain anymore. Even if that meant not feeling anything at all. My ideation occurs frequently every day. It is one of the few things that distracts me from my general anxiety of all the stressors I am facing at one time. I am so tired. I want to feel good about myself. I want to expand my social circle. I want a better support system, so when I get in trouble I have resources. I want a significant other I can spend my life with. I want to heal. I am 37 with social anxiety and depression. Is it too late for me? Please help me.