Is it worth going on....?

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by TawnyOwl, Sep 15, 2012.

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  1. TawnyOwl

    TawnyOwl New Member

    I find myself thinking too often of the best way to end my life. Is it worth going on? For what? I look around and do not see anything worth staying on the planet for. I have no family left in this country and I'm getting older. They're cutting down on everything from social services to health care - both of which I expect to need in the next few years - will I get it? I doubt if any of us will.

    Why do "they" keep harping on about keeping us alive for another 20 odd years when they won't have the money/care/etc to keep us going with any decent quality of life? Why keep pumping drugs into people to keep illnessess under control when all one can do is sit there and look on? That's not living, that's existing for existence sake. Why not let us go - save the money; that seems to be the most important thing in our society.

    I'm tired of living. I'm disappointed when I wake up every day. Yes, I know I have depression and I'm on medication for it but it's not working as well as it did. As I said, I'm getting older. The arthritis will get worse and more bits of me will need replacing (if "they" can afford it); my mental health will deteriorate - Alzheimers and vascular dementia runs in the family and I suspect I will be the next victim - but there's no family here left to keep an eye out for me - and that worries me most. Better to go whilst I still have some control over my life.

    I have a few friends but I cannot burden them with this - it wouldn't be fair, they also have their own problems without my adding to them. Perhaps writing/talking to strangers will ease the load. How does one climb out of this? Do I want to? At the bottom of my Pandora's Box is a tiny bit of hope - maybe that's why I am on last try to justify going on? Can anyone offer any advice or help?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi TawnyOwl welcome to SF The what ifs hun no one can know what the future will bring us. Who knows what people will come into our lives and enrich it The economy may change for the better The thing is we can only live each day the best we can. You are seeing through the glasses of depression hun and they always show us the world is such a gray way. I think if you can talk to your doctor get those meds maybe changed to new ones different ones that will take some of gray away. Talking here does help hun it help to release all those thoughts of worry. I hope you continue to talk to reach out to connect to others here and see you are not so alone hun hugs
  3. Calleo

    Calleo Well-Known Member

    Can I ask how old you are?

    (I don't think I have any advice though... :( )
  4. patricia1961

    patricia1961 New Member

    Dear Tawny, im new here too, i have just read your post , and i understand all your fears, but if you had given up completely then you wouldnt have reached out in here, so that too me is saying you want too live. Im sorry you have no family support around you, but why dont you join somewere like a library or a social club or something like this too get youself out and mixing with diffrent people, i have never posted before in here i have just * lurked * lol, but the reason im talking too you is you seem like an older person like myself im 52 grrr i hate getting old lol, and yes the aches and pains etc make us feel worse, im sorry if what i am saying doesnt make you feel any better, but when you feel down just come on here and if im around i will chat , keep your chin up .
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Who is "they"?
    While relying on others sometimes occurs, I have always found that it is best to just rely upon yourself. No "they." They don't owe me anything. We will all get sick and old one day, I'm 51 and have my own set of aches and pains. Each day if you grab for as much living as you can, even if it is minor, then it is a day well spent. Sometimes it is the simple things we do, like just looking out at nature or hearing a good song, that fulfills the day for us. My only advice that I can share is to recognize that life is the only thing we only really receive one time. Material things can come and go, you can always replace an object. Take some passion from the little things around you and you will discover a full prospective.
  6. TawnyOwl

    TawnyOwl New Member

    Hi, Patricia1961,

    I haven't quite reached "there" yet but I feel I'm getting a little too close to it. I am out and about mixing with people etc but I can't shake off the blues. All I can see out there is negativity; anger, bigotry, greed etc, etc, etc. It's mostly that which is getting me down - I honestly feel sorry for the younger generations to come - if that is all they have to look forward to, what kind of a life is it?? Having said that, however, I remember my father saying to me once (when in my teens) that if he knew then (before I was even born) what it would be like (during my teens), he would never had had children in the first place. He saw no better future for us - and now I am saying the same thing! (Fortunately, i didn't have any children myself.)

    Perhaps I'm just having a bad few days or something. It would be nice to just wake up cheerful now and then..... Maybe I should try doing something totally different to what I usually do and see if the change will kick-start me off.

    Thanks for "listening" anyway.
  7. TawnyOwl

    TawnyOwl New Member

    "They" are the authorities - health services, local councils etc - the ones that will say whether or not I can have an operation I might (although hopefully not) need or be able to stay in my own home.

    I have never been materialistic in my life - I totally agree with you that you can always replace an object/item etc. I just find it hard to switch off from what's happening out there in the world. Perhaps I have too much compassion for others and that now I should learn to be a little more selfish and concentrate on my own needs/feelings rather than the "world out there" - I know it would make sense - there's nothing I can do for those far away from me - I should do what I can for my friends and neighbours (as I am doing) and as you say, keep a sense of perspective.

    I've just had a bad few days, I think. Perhaps I've been thinking and feeling too much lately - maybe if I stop thinking so much and get on with doing things - like taking the time to look at nature or baking a cake or something.....
  8. Andy auriopolas

    Andy auriopolas New Member

    Yes it is worth it because if you dont go on you will never ever know in this world what might have been .. Life is normally good or bad but is a mixed bag ,,Sometines in our tunnel vision we loose the fact that every tunnel has and end and that if you can keep on walking you will get there ,, As for youre value as a human being you are of infinite worth regardless of youre medical conditions ,,

    LTANNER Member

    Hey. Hope you are dealing. Just had a blow out with my dad. I try not to be too to-the-point. I love my mother, very strong. She suggested that i seek a counselor(who is a buddy of hers) to get a lot of the hatred for my fater and mother out. I love her. Thanks! :)
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