is it worth feeling this bad? to constantly want to die? to want to hurt yourself on the outside because your hurting on the inside? to watch the world go by? to watch everyone find you, try and help you, fail, and leave you? is it worth all of this just to live? just to get through the day? i dont think it is self harm is numbing the pain temporarily, dragging the blade accross my skin makes me feel better? watching the beads of blood fill up and flow down my body? whats wrong with me? why cant i JUST BE FUCKING NORMAL. why cant i go to school and interect with people? ( because everyone hates me) why cant i stop hurting my family with my 'illness' why cant anyone help me to feel better? why is my mood so amaziing one day and suicidal the next? this is SO unfair. please i just want to live... is that really so much to ask?