is it worth it? *trigger?*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by black_rose_13, Nov 21, 2007.

  1. is it worth feeling this bad?

    to constantly want to die?

    to want to hurt yourself on the outside because your hurting on the inside?

    to watch the world go by?

    to watch everyone find you, try and help you, fail, and leave you?

    is it worth all of this just to live? just to get through the day?

    i dont think it is

    self harm is numbing the pain temporarily,

    dragging the blade accross my skin makes me feel better? watching the beads of blood fill up and flow down my body?

    whats wrong with me? why cant i JUST BE FUCKING NORMAL.

    why cant i go to school and interect with people? ( because everyone hates me)

    why cant i stop hurting my family with my 'illness'

    why cant anyone help me to feel better?

    why is my mood so amaziing one day and suicidal the next?

    this is SO unfair. please i just want to live...​

    is that really so much to ask?
  2. i want to fucking scream



  3. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    i'm not really sure what to say right now but it sometimes helps to vent.

    take care
  4. Eztral

    Eztral Member

    Thats a question I often ask myself..
    Is all the bad worth the good in the end?
    Sometimes, I don't know... it's so much easier to remember all the pain and hurt, I can rember how it feels to have a blade running through my skin and cutting me, but I have a really hard time remembering the time I was laughing with my friends, or just laughing at something.. It's not like I don't actually laugh a lot, and have fun, it's a great mask to put on.. And right there, it's a good feeling.. but to remember that feeling.. it's really hard, I can't give you any other advice then, try to think a little extra about how you feel the next time you have a blast, and try to focus on it, when the cold comes sneaking in.. I don't know you, I don't try to lecture you, just my thoughts.. and even though I don't know you, keep living :) it's for me atleast, the best so far ^^
  5. thanks for the replies.

    i wish i could be more help to people on here..

    im fucking useless.
  6. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    I know what it is to feel so bad. I wish there was something I could do for you. But just know you aren't alone.

    You're not useless at all. I've seen... :yes: you've helped many on here.

    You're lovely.

    Treat yourself well... I can't make any promises, but maybe it won't all feel so futile in the end? :hug:

    PM box is open. :arms:
  7. :hug: thank you, means so much to me what you've said
  8. emma-louise

    emma-louise Guest

    :hug: Always here for you honey, i'm sorry i haven't been much of a friend lately but i'm always here for you .. You know what my reply to "is it worth it?" is but we both know we gotta keep going, so many people need us, i need you, and as long as you need me i'll always be here babes .. xx
  9. Ty emma :hug: i'm here for you too. x
  10. cutting again and again

    this isn't a good idea is it

    there are other, better ways to cope

    but i dont want them i want to CUT.

    at this rate my whole bodies going to be covered in scars and cuts.

    ill look as ugly on the outside as i am on the inside

    i am ugly and disgusting and hurting.​

  11. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    People in school always picked on me and called me ugly, stupid and things like that. But you know what? They lied. I'm not ugly or stupid, and I'd be willing to bet you aren't either. People say things like that to make themselves feel better, because on the inside they feel pretty bad about themselves too.

    It's not your fault you feel this way. Life isn't exactly easy :p

    Who's normal anyway? There's no such thing. Everyone's different, but for some weird reason they all want to be the same. Life would be really boring if everyone was the same though.

    No you're not. Maybe you just haven't found your purpose in life yet.

    Good luck :)