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Is it worth it?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Shasha Elfond, Jan 24, 2016.

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  1. Shasha Elfond

    Shasha Elfond Member

    I've got this tiny little scar about a centimeter long on the heel of my left hand. I let something sharp get the best of my control, and now it is there as a reminder. Somehow, i'm wondering how that is a bad thing.

    I know the way I am thinking is wrong, but I seem to have little else to turn to. Everything happy is short term. No matter what I do or where I am... there is always this gaping hole of emotionless void.

    One day, I let my mind control my sculpting. My subconscious mind. I wasn't really paying attention, I was just thinking about life in general. Sure it was about 1 in the morning on a school night, but I don't think I had had a bad enough day to keep me from sleep. I just needed to sculpt.

    I looked down at it after a while.... and sobbed. I couldn't believe something like that came from me. That my subconscious could yield something so terrible. What I understood it to be was a mother kneeling, half laying on a tree stump, next to a grave.

    I don't understand myself. How can I be so discontent, no matter what? How can I be so dark? How could I possibly be this empty all of the time?
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi honey, I just want you to know I have read this thread and I really hope things improve for you. You don't deserve to feel this way. I'm sorry that I don't have any solid advice but I'm just telling you I care. ((hugs)) Please don't harm yourself again hun
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, welcome to the forum. You are important and never forget that. I am sorry that you feeling down. That's totally true, some of us live in the dark but we can live in the dark on a day by day basis. One day, we will see the light and you have to find the strength to do that.
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