Is it worth it?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 54321_OVER, Sep 29, 2011.

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  1. 54321_OVER

    54321_OVER New Member

    what if nothing is going to get better and its not that you havnt tried, you have and nothings changed, why should i stay? I do want to i just dont see the validation in having to struggle with constant mental torchure. I have been thinking so much the past while. I said i would wait to see an improvment but if anything everything has got worse. I fight everyday and i still have fight in me, i think im coming to terms of acceptance this is my situation tho.
     
  2. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    What is your situation? Is the person mentally abusing you a spouse, or a parent? You can be open here, no one will judge you. You clearly need to talk this out, so you can fight for yourself with the support of people who understand.
     
  3. 54321_OVER

    54321_OVER New Member

    Thank you for such a quick reply. Its nobody who is doing this, its me, its my own self who is doing the torchuring. Obviously i dont want it but its out of my control. My mental illnesses are 2 much and i honestly dont know what other options i have left. I have had help, lots of it and im coming to the conclusion that this is it. I have all the reasons in world to die. There are plenty of reason i know also to live, like my friends and family and simply life. But i cant have a normal life and why should i suffer for much longer? There is no validation for me to struggle on. I want to have a family of my own one day, i want a house a car...i want all of that and more, but i will be suffering thrughout every bit of it and am not quite sure if it worth it. Its not that im moaning about all that i have been through and am going through, its simply me thinking about the logic of it.
     
  4. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    Logic... a lot of the time we use logic to try to make since of things, but it usually only creates more questions.
    What you need is faith. Faith in yourself that you are stronger than your subconscious, you are in control of how you respond to those negative thoughts.
    I understand how it can feel like there is no way out when the pain is coming from your own mind, and I know there is an answer, though it is different for each of us.
    Do you journal? There is a place on this site where you can journal privately, or publicly, and no one can post on it but you. If you want to keep it private that's okay, but sometimes sharing it helps, you don't necessarily need a response, it's just nice to know that people are listening. And here, you are free to write openly and honestly without fear of judgment.
    This is a good step to finding a way to control your responses to these powerful thoughts and take their power over you away, and then one day you may be able to learn to control the thoughts themselves.
    I wish you the best of luck, and hope you keep writing here.
    Love and support, with some big hugs headed your way!
     
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