Is it a crime that I still wish I was an only child? Is it a crime that most people bore me? Is it a crime that I love to sleep? Is it a crime that I don't like being out with a crowd? Is it a crime that I'm not athletic? Is it a crime that I don't like dressing up nice? Is it a crime that I don't have a job? Is it a crime that I don't drive? Is it a crime that I don't fish for people to date? Is it a crime that I like to keep things simple and not take many risks? Is it a crime that I'm not able to understand a single fuckin word anybody says in an intelligent conversation? Is it a crime that I do not respond to your advice if it mentions anything about God in it? Is it a crime that most of my traits are genetic from my father & I CAN'T HELP THE WAY I AM!? Is it a crime to accept the way I am without being labeled an uneducated, fat, lazy, spoiled tard!? Last but not least.. Is it a crime that I love to bitch because everyone does it but whenever I do so I'm always pointed out!? If I wasn't so scared to kill myself, I would have already done so cause I'm tired of your labels, tired of life & tired of people. I'm like one big fuck up that can't be fixed. Only temporarily tamed.
"I'm selfish, impatient, & a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe :sheep2:
It's not a crime to wish you were an only child- at times, it does seem better. It's not a crime to know that lots of people bore you- they don't need to entertain you. It's not a crime to love sleep- sleep is a nice feeling (usually, anyway). It's not a crime that you don't like to spend time in a crowd- it can be restrictive and claustrophobia-inducing. It's not a crime that you're not athletic- lots of people aren't. It's not a crime that you don't like to dress up nice- lots of those kinds of clothing are freaking uncomfortable, anyway. It's not a crime that you don't have a job. It's not a crime that you don't drive. It's not a crime that you don't fish for people to date. It's not a crime that you like simplicity and you don't like risks- you're staying safe and uncomplicated. It's not a crime that you don't feel like you understand intelligent conversation- especially if you don't care about what's being said. It's not a crime for you to not respond to advice if it mentions God- who says you have to believe? It's not a crime for you to have over half of your traits from your dad- like you said, you can't help it. That's just the way things are. It's not a crime for you to be able to accept yourself without those hurtful labels- they aren't true. It's not a crime for you to love to bitch- sometimes, it's the only thing that helps. I'm sorry that you feel like the things you do (or not do) are crimes. I'm sorry you feel like you're a fat, lazy, uneducated, spoiled tard. I'm sorry that you feel the need to kill yourself. I'm sorry that you feel that you can't be fixed. Hang in there, please.
Nope, siblings can be fucking annoying lol. The only good thing about having them is when I eventually off myself, my parents will still have other kids around(4 of them to be exact, so plenty). Most people scare me D: sleeping's good . it's when dreams happen(which seem to be the only good thing in my life, fucking dreaming -___-). crowds freak me out. i don't generally go where are people are for extended periods. I'm skinny, AND i suck at sports lmao. i fatigue quickly and don't like running around.....i dont eat much, I drink alot. 99.999999999% of the time i'm wearing a pair of board shorts and a t-shirt. and maybe some flanno jumper if its cold lol(I've been told i look like a bum at times??? but i guess thats because i dont wear shoes when i go to the shops...). Nope . school stresses me out too much, so getting a job would be pointless for me. too many wankers on the road anyway. if I ever need to drive, I'll just do it without a license(where the fuck would i go anyway??). I have to many emotional/mental problems to even try and date someone. plus no one is interested in me(for good reason i guess), so who cares? lets wallow in our solitariness(thats not even a word lol..). keeping it simple is good. less chance of fucking things up i don't understand most of what people talk about in person because i dont really speak with anyone :unsure: haha, don't worry. my attention rate virtually flat-lines as soon as anyone mentions god lmao :laugh:. it sucks that we couldn't choose our parents D:, and i swear i must be adopted........ nope, and its better to bitch than to hold it all in and go nuts, :crazyemoticonthatIcan'tfind: fuckin a. i swear, if assissted suicide was legal, half the population would just go "fuck this shit", for good reason. wats triggered this?
The both of you made me feel quite okay. Also to answer your question Mac, someone on another site said I was unappreciative about life & people cause I'm a spoiled brat. I can't help it. Always the same drama from the same people, just a different day. Sleeping is the only fun thing I like to do lately cause my dreamworld is paradise.
same. i remember last year that i was sleeping or just lying in bed because i would close my eyes and think of crap. that's partly why I started thinking that I should go blind and deaf, essentially i would be dead which would drive me insane, but being deaf would mean I wouldn't have to hear all the shit flying from other peoples mouths(lol). i try not to venture far beyond SF(lol i sound weird....:unsure. people can be so fucking stupid at times, i find myself fantasizing about tracing someones IP address and then killing them LOL. :blink: i'll probly be a terrible drunk, ill wake up in the morning and drink till i pass out, then i dont have to deal with the rest of the day . or maybe i'll have to get a whole lot of sleeping pills and self-induce a coma.... no offence, but i dont no how people can 'appreciate' life. it's so repulsive. the very thought of living another 60 years makes me want to drive a hammer through my skull.
Exactly lol. The person that told me that is one of those society cloned brain dead idiots who does anything people tell them to do. They also think they're smarter and better than everyone. Hah, they also said I was a no life loser for complaining about people lately being like "PROM THIS, PROM THAT, BOYFRIENDS, BEACHES, BIKINIS, GROUPIES, PARTIES, CLUBS, HONOR ROLL". I was like "Yeah, I won't deny that". They got quiet then. Haha. I don't know why stuff like that annoys me.. Reckon cause my lifestyle isn't that and I'm just jealous? Won't deny that either. :laugh:. But yeh. Its their life.. Most people in general just annoy me. Thats all. Though most of what everyone says is like a broken record lately. :dry: But hey.. wonder what people on here think of me complaining bout the same stuff lately. :tongue:
I love most of everyone on here. I don't feel so left out and awful when I'm on here. I meant to include that in my last post. :hug:
lol ive never gotten the point of a 'party'. from my point of view, everyone just goes somewhere and gets pissed and tries to 'pick someone up'. it seems so.....depressing? Like is that the way we spend 'our prime years' or what ever? Going 'clubbing/partying' and trying to have random sex which is completely pointless(far as im concerned)? It all seems so....stupid. if you sit down have have a real good think about how peoples lives turn out, where the want to go, what they want to do. They all end up looking the same....born, go to primary(or elementary lol) school, highschool, graduate, college, go partying/clubbing in the city, have a whole lot of one night stands, make an attempt at finding 'the one', marrying them/having kids, settling down, watch your kids do the very same things you did, retire, anddddddd die. like is it just me or is that really triggering :unsure:? we're one big bunch of stupid fucking apes lol. we think we've evolved but we haven't....we're still the same old monkey running around humping each other..... just thought i'd add this: if their is anything i want to do in life it would be to sky-dive.....it would be so fun just free falling all that way above the earth.....it would be like flying.......funnily enough i actually came up with a suicide plan that involves that LOL. I would steal a plane(i'd need to learn how to fly it first :laugh, then i'd fly it up reallyyyyyy high, I turn on auto pilot(it would eventually ditch itself somewhere), and i'd jump out and fly away......and SPLAT! into the earth. I'll probly be completely obliterated on impact, but who gives a shit? i'd be getting cremated but they could just leave by bits and pieces in the ground for fertilizer . lol so....yea....:blink: EDIT: yea, SF is a pretty good place. i'd be curious to see how many hours i have clocked up being on here lol. it's definately increased in recent times. i find most other sites and stuff way to triggering, so i find myself back here XD
LOL you just made my night with the apes comment!!!! I totally agree though. I do give credit to some people though for discovering stuff and inventing stuff we use daily. I'm appreciative of them.. just not most of the regular everyday partying/sex crazed monkeys. EXACTLY. Most of it is all the same. Thats why I don't get much enjoyment out of talking with most people cause their convos include stuff like that. I like talking with those that're outside that life circle. They're far more interesting and don't always sound like a broken record. Thats quite a plan idea you made by the way o_o. Of course I don't want you to do that though. Then I'd be one less of a person I can relate to and gain interest out of talking with. :laugh: & I'd be on this site longer probably if it wasn't for daily life cycles getting in the way. Lately its like: Wake up, eat, watch my sis for most the day, eat again, get on the computer, shower, and go to bed. No matter how much I switch that up or attempt to I'm still gonna be bored of life & most people in general. lol. Most of every other site I get pissed off at to much cause of the grammar nazis, trolls, smart asses, etc.
