There are a lot of really important words that make a huge difference in life and happiness and the ability of an individual to find meaning and satisfaction and a point to living. Sadly, they get interchanged as if they were synonyms, or completely left out of many conversations. This combination of misuse and omission turns problems with solutions into vast impenetrable fortresses of despair and depression that make motivation and action impossibilities no less daunting than walking barefoot on the sun. The complete misuse of the word "need" when the correct word is “want” and the word “can’t” when a person really means “don’t want to” causes individuals to be grounded in despair because of a preconditioned feeling of impossibility that is not based in fact. “I can’t talk to women/men” or “I can’t move out from parents” as examples of things that are nearly always a “I do not want to” because one is uncomfortable emotionally and makes you embarrassed or anxious and one may be difficult as it means will need to get a job and work to be able to afford to live, or take on a roommate as examples. Uncomfortable for most (nearly all) people? Absolutely. Cannot as in impossible? No, absolutely not impossible, simply a choice. When you phrase it correctly as the choice it is it allows the mind to consider it correctly as a choice rather than gaining in proportion until it is a trap so impossible to escape it seems death is the only way out. When things are a choice as most things really are, people retain some control of a situation and that maintaining control makes most things at least tolerable. Many situations involve choosing between the lesser evil or making a decision where none of the options are really desirable- but it is still better than no control at all- which is what happens as soon as can’t is substituted for don’t want to. Needing something and wanting something are a similar mental trap, though even more often used incorrectly. In reality the list of needs for a human being are very minimal in the short term and not really extensive in the long term even. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is the popular cult psychology reference and does an adequate job of discussing what needs are and even defining some things as needs that might not meet the standard for imminent death if lacking but still a genuine need for overall wellbeing in the long term. If unfamiliar it is certainly worth a glance anyway though most psychologist agree the 1970 expanded version to be more of an idealism than actual need and it would vary hugely from culture to culture to culture. Skipping over all the pop psychology though it is easy to identify a want from a need. People need shoes is a reasonable statement in the western modern world, while want Air Jordan’s might be a simple example. In the depressed mind it is easy to decide there are a huge list of needs that can never be met, and since the list is so long and they will never be able to meet all of them what is the point in continuing? This trap can be dismissed easily if taken item for item and asked is it genuinely something that is NEEDED as in the process or plan cannot proceed in any manner, or is it something the person wants to make the plan easier or more comfortable to complete? As an example, you need a place to sleep to be safe and warm to move out, you want $10k saved before moving so you can pay rent and deposits, buy whole apartment of furniture, get a car, and so on etc., etc. The items you "need" to make a change are far easier to acquire than the items you "want" to make the same change. Similar to the can’t / don’t want to, this substitution of need for wants puts up impossible to complete tasks that ensure no action is ever undertaken in the depressed mind as you will never possibly acquire everything “needed” to make a substantial change in position or life style. Since it makes it seem impossible to finish, it makes it pointless to even start. If it is impossible anyway, the person does not even look for solutions anymore and gives away all control. Once again, after all control is lost it seems the only way to control things is to choose death as a manner of control. Humans do not do well with no sense of control in the long term, and if they cannot control anything then it does make life seem pointless as their actions apparently have no effect. This loss of control based on the incorrect substitution of “need” for “want” is however a complete lie. It even feeds into the next lie in response to why have no changes been made when they respond “Can’t” when really it is purely a case of “don’t want to “ because something they wanted but did not need has not materialized. This cycle continues until the needs can never be met and they can’t ever change any situation. All because human nature compounded by depression makes a couple of tiny words that control all and results in inaction. That inaction results in the situation that is intolerable becoming unending as well. If while making a list of problems and solutions a person conscientiously looks at all the problems and then makes careful use of want and need and can’t or don’t want to suddenly the self-proclaimed careful analytical thought process that resulted in the determination that suicide the best solution falls apart. It also makes clear that choices are yours to make and you are in control of most situations and may make life seem far less pointless.